LAST HURRAH: What’s Eating Laura Miller?

The mayor has bigger things to worry about than her ding-a-ling husband.

Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport Board records show that Dallas Mayor Laura Miller, a member of the panel, did not cast votes while owning stock last year in AMR Corp.—American Airlines’ parent company. … Ms. Miller owned at least 10,000 shares of AMR stock beginning Sept. 2, selling them Sept. 12 … . The mayor said Monday that she earned $11,824.60 from the sale. … “I learned in a dinner conversation with my husband that he had purchased American Airlines stock the week before,” Ms. Miller wrote last week. “I told him that I thought it was a conflict of interest for me to own that stock because of my position on the D/FW Airport board and asked him to sell it. He did the following day.” Her husband, Steve Wolens, is an attorney and former state representative.

Dallas Morning News, May 8

FADE IN:

INT. PRESTON HOLLOW MANSION. NIGHT.

LAURA and STEVE are sitting at their dining room table. LAURA neglects her dinner, instead hammering away at her BlackBerry.

STEVE: Come on, honey. Your food is going to get cold. Can’t you please put that thing down long enough to eat?

LAURA: [sarcastically] You know I’m the mayor, right? You do understand that. It’s not like I’m over here trying to set a high score on Tetris.

STEVE is stung by her words. He lowers his head and pokes at his food with his fork. He looks small, hurt.

LAURA: [setting aside BlackBerry, picking up her fork] Okay, look. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve had a long day. If it isn’t Hill, it’s Fantroy. Or that Chaney. They’re killing me. [chewing] Mmm, hey! This casserole is really good, honey.

STEVE: [perking up, trying to recover] Thank you. I’m glad you like it. I got the recipe from Cooking Light.

LAURA: Get out of here! [really working up the sincerity] Amazing. I’d never have guessed it was low-fat. So how was your day?

STEVE: Not too bad. Good. I got a new client with a solid mesothelioma case.

LAURA: Right, mesothelioma. That’s good. I mean, it’s bad for the guy who has the mesothelioma. Ick. But that’s great for you, honey. I’m glad.

STEVE: [self-esteem returning] And let’s see. What else? Oh, yeah. That AMR stock I bought is up roughly $11,824.60.

LAURA: What?

STEVE: Oh, didn’t I tell you? I bought 10,000 shares of AMR last week. Got in at just the right time.

LAURA: [unleashes a torrent of world-class profanity that includes hyphenated adjectives, some never-before-heard parts of speech, unkind references to mother, etc.] Steve, I’m going to say this slowly and I’m going to use small words so you won’t have any trouble understanding. I sit on the airport board. You know? The one that runs the airport? Where the planes take off and land? Steve, look at me. Stop playing with your food. I’m also the mayor of Dallas. I’m trying to work through a little thing called the Wright Amendment. Heard of it? We can’t own friggin’ AMR stock, Steve! First thing tomorrow, you’re selling it.

STEVE fights back tears. Then he stands up from the table and runs into the kitchen. Loud sobs can be heard through the door, followed by a gunshot. LAURA takes a drink of wine. She picks up her BlackBerry.

FADE OUT.

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