1. “Southlake looks to curb unruly teen behavior.” Intrigued, I clicked on the story, to see what other hell Paul Kix has brought upon Dragon Country. Vandals? Drugs? Petty theft? Nope. Bad grades? Teen pregnancy? Bad footballing? Nope. Then what? There’s too many of them hanging out at Southlake’s Town Square. Doing what? Nothing. And it’s a problem because…? Actually, it isn’t, as far as I can tell. But that’s not stopping the city from having a town forum about it.
2. A Bank of America office building in Fort Worth was evacuated yesterday — and 30 people were taken by ambulance to a pair of hospitals — when what was thought to be a carbon monoxide leak was discovered. Turns out it was just really strong perfume. What kind of perfume was it? First guess: Sex Panther.
3. I take it back: the worst humans in Dallas are, in fact, Alfred and Abneris Santiago.