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Do you think you know the difference between a hand-harvested scallop and a U-10? Then you will want to enter the “I Scuba for Scallops” contest on SideDish. (Hi, Adam!)

When I spoke with him on the phone this morning, Irving Mayor Herbert Gears hadn’t heard about today’s Houston Chronicle report that Exxon Mobil is drawing up plans for a big corporate campus down near The Woodlands.

The news has led to speculation that the world’s biggest company may be looking to relocate its corporate headquarters away from Irving.  Gears said he expects that if they were planning a move he would have been alerted to the possibility before it were reported in the media.

“I have not had any indications whatsoever that they’ve been thinking about moving their headquarters anywhere,” he said.  “We certainly would be sad to lose them, but we’re going to do everything we can to make sure we prevent that.”

“I’ll make a call as soon as I get off here. I’ll call Rex [Tillerson, CEO of Exxon Mobil].”

A few of us have gathered at the Nasher this rainy afternoon to hear a talk given by Spanish artist Jaume Plensa, whose “Genus and Species” opens January 30. The Nasher is promoting it as their first exhibition by a living artist. Funny story: a Nasher employee who shall remain unnamed was ferrying Plensa around in his/her car earlier and accidentally ran a red light. Plensa made a joke about how it was almost the Nasher’s first exhibition of an artist killed by the museum.

Update: I’m sure Peter will be along in a minute to share some details about the brief speech that Plensa gave and about his art. But here’s my favorite part: Plensa concluded by saying, “I’d love for you to touch my art.” He said the same thing to a group at the museum last night. The notion is giving the guards at the Nasher fits. Because, as you know, you ain’t supposed to touch anything else there. They are afraid that people won’t know where to draw the line. One minute you’re caressing an alabaster Plensa head (first picture); the next minute, you’re engaged in some out-of-bounds frottage with one of those people high atop Borofsky’s Walking to the Sky. So bottom line (no sexual pun intended), if you get handsy with either Twin 1 or Twin II (second picture), and if a guard tells you stop, be sure to tell em that Plensa said it was copacetic.

There’s a great local quote in this morning’s story about John Edwards’ handlers scrambling to funnel hush money to Edwards’ mistress, Rielle Hunter. It evidently originated with Edwards’ old pal Fred Baron, the Dallas plaintiff’s lawyer and Democratic Party rainmaker who died in 2008:

Other distributions came from Edwards’ former campaign finance chairman Fred Baron, including a FedEx envelope of $1,000 and a note that read: “Old Chinese proverb: Use cash, not credit cards.”

1. I was going to comment on Dallas ISD’s proposed fix for four high schools that face possible closure by the state. They’ll create magnet programs at each of the campuses to attract students that could boost the test scores and graduation rates (the DISD board seems to know it’s about “the inputs.”) I was going to say that this solution sounds like a trick to beat the system. Then I read the final paragraph of the DMN piece: “In addition, state records show that all four schools would not have passed Texas’ academic standards if they did not get statistical help from the state. Various formulas allow for schools to pass the standards even if too many students flunk state tests.” So, since districts apparently have access to a magic calculator, is there really a state accountability system left to trick?

2. Would this middle school student have been arrested any place other than in the Park Cities? Without knowing exactly what the threat was, it’s hard to say. But can we all agree that Fox 4 needn’t have required poor Sophia Reza to stand in the rain last night, outside a closed school, to report on an incident that occurred last week? Let’s free TV reporters from the tyranny of the wholly unnecessary live shot.

3. I was a little amused by the billboard. I find the commercial a little icky. But it’s all pretty sophomoric.

Eric Nicholson, who’s a helluva reporter for D’s People Newspapers, is paid the ultimate reporter’s compliment by the Observer‘s Jim Schutze in this tale today about a lost chicken in Preston Hollow. Jim’s risking a flap with his wife by saying what he says, so you know he means it.

He’s at the Davos World Economic Forum in Switzerland, and the Wall Street Journal asked him about the mood there. “Better than last year,” he replied.

He also said the heads of JPMorgan and Goldman have earned their pay.

“If shareholders don’t like the salaries, don’t buy the stock.”

1. You know what’s not cool? Stealing $1,900 from a t-shirt fundraiser. That’s what Sandra Kellum is accused of doing to the students at Lee McShan Elementary School. But, I kind of feel bad for Kellum. She’s a single mother of three who was behind on her bills. I’m not saying stealing is the best way to go about things, but a small part of me feels bad for her. (Watch the video. I especially like the B roll at 1:11. It adds so much to the story.)

2. I just don’t get why everyone thinks hazing is so awful. It unites terrified, young freshmen who are just searching for a way to fit in and make friends. It creates a bond among the older students. Those who participate in hazing have lasting memories (and in some cases, lasting marks on the body). What’s better than getting those pictures developed the next week and then having a crop night to scrapbook the occasion? But not everyone agrees with me, especially not TCU student Amon Carter IV.

3. I so wish I could sing. Not because I want the big bucks, the best personal trainers the world has to offer, and adoring fans. But because at the Dallas auditions of American Idol, I could’ve met legen–wait for it–dary Neil Patrick Harris (if at least two of you got that, I’m happy). He was quite the amazing judge. Our boy, Joe Jonas, however, did not shine so well–I’m sure that’s just a result of the editing. Anyway, 31 people advance from the Dallas round to Hollywood.

Today the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality released the results of a study of 94 monitoring sites in the Barnett Shale region. At 21 of the sites, the levels of the carcinogenic pollutant benzene were higher than TCEQ would like to see. But at only two of those was the level so high that immediate corrective action was required.

Al Armendariz, the regional administrator for the Environmental Protection Agency, told me last week that the public can be confused about whether it’s safe to live near natural gas wells, since a quick succession of news reports in recent months have delivered conflicting stories. The truth is that different portions of the Barnett Shale contain different hydrocarbons, and thus it’s entirely possible for one site to be dangerous while another is relatively harmless to health.

While there’s a lot of talk about potential danger from natural gas wells, or cement kilns in Midlothian, Armendariz says one just as great (or greater) threat to our health surrounds most of us every day: highways.

So would I be better off living near a natural gas well — away from the polluted air of the jam-packed interstates — or right near the intersection of LBJ and Central?

PR whiz John Shore was at the Apple store on Knox this morning just as Steve Jobs was on the West Coast announcing the Second Coming, er, Apple’s new iPad. John says the Apple CEO’s presentation was broadcast live at the store, where everything came to a screeching halt until it was over. Anybody heard anything yet about pricing, availability, etc.?

Last Friday was the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the U.S. Supreme Court decision stemming from a federal case in Dallas. The decision’s also been in the news lately as part of the GOP gubernatorial primary. Namely, U.S. Kay Bailey Hutchison has been on the hot seat with conservatives for saying she doesn’t favor overturning Roe, because doing so would throw responsibility for abortion law back to the individual states, turning some of them into “abortion havens,” making the problem worse. But, is that a realistic scenario? We asked Bishop Kevin Farrell of the Catholic Diocese of Dallas, who referred us to Karen Garnett, executive director of the Catholic Pro-Life Committee of North Texas for the Diocese of Dallas. She had a different take.