Tuesday, May 21, 2024 May 21, 2024
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Whimsy

Friday Hypothetical: Animal Style

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Much to Krista’s chagrin, the moment I don’t have something to do, I generally turn around and pose a hypothetical question to Tim, not just because he sits closest to me, but also because he actually will really consider even the most arcane hypothetical. For instance: what’s the biggest animal you could reasonably take down with no weapon? He answered “manatee,” for some reason.

Well, he’s not here, and I am in between things just now, so:

An impossibly rich and eccentric, bordering on insane, scientist will give you $100 million to participate in his latest experiment. Scientifically, it is complicated, but the premise is simple: transplanting your consciousness into an animal. In other words, you have all the thoughts and feelings and brain power of a human — mentally and spiritually, you are yourself — but you are inside an animal’s body. (Like the frog prince from fairy tales.) He will allow you to pick the animal, but otherwise, the setup is pretty rigid, and it is absolutely irreversible. (Before Daniel asks: you can’t talk, but you can communicate fairly easily.)

You can use the money in anyway you see fit. I mean, if you wanted nothing but the finest foods, you would still enjoy them, but you would also still be a moose. Or whatever. Two part question: do you do it? If yes, what animal?

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