A Behind Ahead of the Times

JAVA JONES, A CHIC COFFEE STORE IN Oak Lawn, sells some of the most exotic coffees in the world-rich, aromatic beans from Kilimanjaro, Ethiopia, and Kenya. But it’s not the espresso grounds that make customers giddy. It’s not even the clear water used to make the perfect cup o’ joe that separates this restaurant from all others in Dallas. Rather, it’s water from a different source.

That’s right, the “water closet,” the “john,” the “head,” if you will. Whatever you call it, Java Jones’ room of relief has something no other North Texas eatery’s bathroom has: a blow dryer.

Nothing new, you say. True, bathrooms have had hand dryers for years. But the dryer at Java Jones isn’t for your hands, it’s for your behind.

You read correctly. As in a standard European-style bidet, the press of a button shoots a well-aimed stream of water from the back of the seat toward the back of your seat. But after you’ve been rinsed, another button turns on an equally well-aimed blow dryer. This machine even boasts a temperature control to keep your tush from getting too toasty.

Restaurant owner Richard Marcus first saw the contraption when he was visiting Japan. Wanting to give the “utmost in amenities” to his customers, Marcus brought one back to his Dallas restaurant and put it in the unisex bathroom.

It used to be that a nice hot cup of coffee was enough to warm your innards on a cold day. Now you can have a warm behind, too. Ah, progress.