1. I have emerged from my spot under the coffee table, where I was curled in a fetal position, sucking my thumb, after last night’s season-ender for the Mavs. Right now, I’d pay $50 or bake a very lovely cake for someone that would just punch Tim Duncan directly in the snot box. But the one thing that made everything somewhat bearable last night was turning down the sound on the game and listening to the Ticket instead. You can see why here.
2. Although it’s surrounded by Dallas, the Park Cities (specifically, in this case, University Park) is very much like a small town. Most everyone knows everyone. There is no, “Wow, I didn’t know we had this park/service/library.” And yet, as Park Cities People columnist Merritt Patterson pointed out yesterday, a mailer that went out touting the experience of three candidates for city council had a few glaring inaccuracies, including the misspelling of the exceedingly popular, everybody-knows-what-this-is Snider Plaza.
3. Today is Dallas Police Chief David Kunkle’s last day. We all know what this means: He’s available to star in Rica Y Chato, possibly as the wise detective who is always a step behind Rica and Chato, and frequently asks them to please go straight. It all depends on whether or not he can slam his hand on a desk and say convincingly things like, “A life of crime is a short one, jefe,” and “What are you going to tell that little girl when she wants to know what Daddy does for work?”
4. Apparently, it’s really easy to make keys to this one door atop a stairwell in the DFW Airport, and this made WFAA find a dude that will say so, but only after he dons a Unabomber jacket, inhales some helium, and talks. Seriously – that’s the voice disguise you want to go with when talking about something you’re billing as a deadly serious problem? Alvin, Simon, Theodore? Also, the only time you’re allowed to say, “One, two, three, four, five master keys,” Brett Shipp, is if you’re going to follow up with a, “Five Master Keys! Bwahahahaaha!” like the Count from Sesame Street. I’m pretty sure it’s a law.
5. This Friday Morning Ear Worm isn’t so much an ear worm, but I just needed to post this so we can start making, “You’ll just be Blazed!” happen. As a thing. Yes?
