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Sports Conundrum: Which Game Gets the Sound in the Bar on Friday?

The Stars and the Mavs will be fighting for your ears.
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Here’s a hypothetical for you: let’s say you own a sports bar in Dallas, Texas. You’ll obviously have both the Stars and Mavs on TV tomorrow, as the two teams will be playing simultaneously (basketball at 8:30, hockey at 9). But what do you do about the sound? Which game gets primacy on your speakers?

My suggestion: put two pickle jars on your bar top, one labeled for the Stars, the other for the Mavs. Whichever jar contains the most cash determines which team gets the sound. Recount the cash every 15 minutes. Servers divide up the booty evenly.

You’re welcome. Go, sports!

Author

Tim Rogers

Tim Rogers

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Tim is the editor of D Magazine, where he has worked since 2001. He won a National Magazine Award in…
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