Politics & Government

Brett Shipp Gets Pun-y in Bid for Pete Sessions’ Seat in Congress

This Democratic primary will be fun!

Today at 3 p.m. former TV newsman Brett Shipp will hold a press conference to announce that he’s running as a Democrat for Rep. Pete Sessions’ seat in Congress. We’ll have to wait till then to see if Candidate Shipp likes Oakleys as much as Newsman Shipp does.

Meantime I’d like to draw your attention to the image above. That’s the pic that accompanied the email from the Shipp campaign announcing the press conference. So it looks like we know his campaign slogan. It is “New Leader Shipp.”

Let that sink in. Go ahead. Soak it all up.

Did Shipp hire a Euless book club to come up with that pun? I imagine one of Sessions’ aides telling him that a TV news guy has entered the race and showing him that slogan. And then Sessions says, “Brett is running? That guy from Channel 8? I don’t give a Shipp.” The aide would just stare at him, and then Sessions would continue: “I couldn’t give two Shipps? Better?”

Thank you, Brett Shipp, for opening the door to the playroom of puns, the most irresistible delight for a writer on deadline who also has a WordPress login. Shall we begin?

A better campaign slogan: “Vote for Brett. He’s the Shipp.”

Or just “Shipp It”

“Let’s Turn This Shipp Around”

“Shipp Happens”

“I’m Tired of all the Bull”
—Shipp

“Holy Shipp!”

“Drain the Swamp and Get Onboard With Shipp”

“Sheeple? Heck no. Shipple!” (Or maybe his supporters should be called Shippsters.)

If the campaign doesn’t go well, headline writers will have fun. Imagine Shipp agrees to a debate with Ed Meier, Colin Allred, and Lillian Salerno. He commits a gaffe. The headline:

“Shipp Really Steps in It”

“Sunken Shipp”

“Pile of Shipp”

“Shipp Sliding Away”

“Shipp Hits the Fan”

“Does a Bear Shipp in the Woods?”

I’m not sure how that last one could be useful. But we’ll find a way. Just put it on a Stickie for now.

The title of the newsletter that the candidate sends out to likely voters in the district: “Deep Shipp”

A block walker is trying to convince someone how to vote. He says, “Look, we’re not asking you vote straight ticket Dem. Just the Shipp.”

There are so many more possibilities. I am considering moving to the 32nd congressional district so I can cast a vote for the guy. I am Bretty for new leader Shipp!

Comments

  • EricCeleste
    • First, though you’ve attempted to redact your text, it is clear that you took Our Lord’s name in vain. Or took it in amusement. Either way, the court of public opinion has already ruled in my favor.

      Second, you said Frisco. As everyone can see, I used Euless. TOTALLY DIFFERENT CITIES. In the context of this joke, Euless is at least three levels better than Frisco. What you did was say, “I like to cook eggs in a skillet.” I took that dish and added onions, cheese, mushrooms, and ham. Then I gently folded the eggs over and made an omelet. You’re welcome.

    • t’pau

      He stole one of mine, too.

      • EricCeleste

        Please tell me this is Carol Decker, the lead singer of T’Pau.

  • JohnyAlamo

    Hopefully, he isn’t a soBrett politician.

  • Chris Ullom

    In the wake of the inevitable sex scandal:
    “Loose lips sink Shipp”

  • Sarah

    SHIPP IT REAL GOOD.

  • Brandon Snook

    Let’s Make the Spirit of Texas Shippshape!