Miami Heat 92, Dallas Mavericks 84. Look, gang, don’t panic. It’s just one game. Even though, yes, Dirk Nowitzki tore a tendon in his non-shooting hand. They will make some adjustments and be back on Thursday. So chill. But if you want to complain about the worst announce team in the history of the NBA, well, I guess I can’t stop you. I’d rather listen to the cast of Entourage read the Twilight books. Did that make me sound elitist? DEAL WITH IT.
Here is Your Mandated “American Airlines Gets Boost From Finals” Story. Enjoy.
Jean Jacques Taylor’s Show on Sunday Mornings on The Ticket is Just Awful. It’s called The Soul Patch, and it’s terrible, and I just felt like saying that. I’ll never leave the house without a CD again.
Qantas’ Non-Stop Route to Dallas May Need a Stop. Because, as we all know and I sort of feel stupid even bringing it up, the 8,584 mile trip — the longest direct route flown by Boeing 747 aircraft — entails flying through headwinds that add at least an hour to the flight time. Anyway, that’s already caused one unplanned stop.
Swindled Lottery Winner Willis Willis Sues the State. If you don’t think I am strongly — strongly — on the side of the amazingly named Willis Willis, then we are probably not well acquainted. Because, sir or madam, I have two chief interests, and they are as follows: 1) JUSTICE and 2) helping people with kick-a names.
Colleyville Kid Catches Giant Fish. And once he reeled it in, he called his friend and — you know what? Whatever. A kid caught a fish.
