When faced with bad news–or any news, really–I make jokes. I can’t help it. It’s my self-defense mechanism. So instead of dwelling on the situation at DISD (and, to be sure, I do take it very seriously), I’ve decided to turn it into a thus-far unscripted movie. (I’m seeing it as Crash meets Stand and Deliver meets Twelve Angry Men.) Your cast is after the jump. Not a joke, I guess. But not exactly hard-hitting either. Certainly not essential. If nothing else, to take everyone’s mind off it for a moment.
Superintendent Michael Hinojosa: Gotta be Edward James Olmos, right? Dark horse: Danny Trejo.
School Board President Jack Lowe: Hall of Fame “That Guy” James Rebhorn. No question.
Carla Ranger: Probably the Tony-Award-winning Mary Alice. (You may also know her as The Oracle in the second and third Matrix movies.) Or Phylicia Rashad.
Ron Price: He’s a little young, but I’m going with Anthony Anderson. Maybe he can inject a bit of needed comic relief.
Jerome Garza: Another first-ballot “That Guy” Hall-of-Famer: Bruce McGill. Or, how about Tommy Chong, in a career-redefining role?
Edwin Flores: First thought: the underrated James Remar. Something doesn’t quite feel right, but let’s just go ahead and move on. In fact, I’m going to skip the rest of the board. That’s enough for Hollywood.
Other Players
Dallas.org’s Allen Gwinn: Had trouble with this one, since I couldn’t shake Ricky Gervais. For now, I go with Dylan Baker.
Teacher Alyssa Lucas: Composite character, and probably the real star of the picture. Let’s say Angela Bassett.
Maintenance man Paul “Slug” Frazier: Another composite character. Throw your “Roc” signs up: it’s Charles S. Dutton.
Mr. X: Donald Sutherland, essentially reprising his JFK role.
That’s all I got.
