Your question comes at a particularly appropriate time. Just yesterday the Dallas Police Department hosted a trust-building Youth Forum at the Dallas Convention Center wherein young’ns ages 10-15 were instructed by means of various breakout sessions on such topics as how they and their friends should dress for a night of terrorizing a young couple at a remote rural cabin:
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Getting ready to watch the Sunset Dance company. #DPDYouthTalk @DalladPD pic.twitter.com/fbtBbUyV1M
— Chief David O. Brown (@DPDChief) August 4, 2015
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Seeing as you’ve referred to 1994 — the year that the Dallas Police Department launched its Kids and Cops trading cards — as “back in the day,” I have no choice but to surmise that you are yourself but a pup. Therefore your inquiry presumably comes in the hopes that you might obtain some of these photographically-embossed bits of paper for your own amusement.
My investigations have revealed that you are in luck, for the program continues to this day, with annual editions celebrating DPD officers, sheriff’s deputies, FBI agents, Texas Rangers (of the law enforcement variety, not the bases-ballers), and crime prevention specialists. The cards are undoubtedly a hot commodity on playing grounds throughout the city. It’s been some time since the 362,000 printed for last fall’s release were distributed, and none currently appear to be on offer on eBay. Therefore my advice for obtaining a share would be that you gather up your jacks and marbles and challenge neighborhood youngsters to contests of skill with their cards at stake.
If you are not proficient at these very-much currently popular children’s pastimes, maybe just cull one small child from the herd, push him down and take his. While it’s hard to condone any manner of violence against young’ns, ultimately I believe you will have taught the boy a valuable life lesson — the benefits of which shall far outstrip any skinned knees or bruised backsides suffered during your attack.
Speaking of wounds and trading cards, I must take this opportunity to address a most egregious affront to the founder of this, the greatest city God ever gave me to give to man. Those heartless monsters at the so-called “buildingcommunityWORKSHOP” — without the slightest sense of decorum, respect for history, or understanding of the most basic rules of capitalization — last year released a set of cards celebrating “Dallas Heroes,” both living and deceased. Twenty-five individuals were honored in their first edition, and yet none of those said individuals was yours truly.
Given that bcWorkshop has yet to produce a second edition, it should be obvious to all involved that my exclusion has proven damaging to the popularity of the endeavor. Never one to complain for complaining’s own sake, I propose a solution. At my own considerable expense, I have produced a substitute No. 1 card for the first-edition set that I am willing to allow bcWorkshop to print in exchange for a nominal licensing fee:
Coloring outside the lines,
John Neely Bryan is founder of the city of Dallas and an expert on all matters. For advice, to have a dispute adjudicated, or seeking wisdom on any of a myriad of topics, [email protected].
