Sunday, May 5, 2024 May 5, 2024
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Mythical Beasts

Dozens of Birds Found Dead in Arlington Intersection. In Other News, End Times Are Near.

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This kind of story seems to pop up every few months around the country, with a broadcaster always closing with, “One of the birds was taken to a local vet to determine the cause of death.” Then WE NEVER FIND OUT. What sort of Paul Thomas Anderson-led bird-killing cabal is keeping this information from us?

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