Monday, April 29, 2024 Apr 29, 2024
62° F Dallas, TX
Advertisement
Media

Is Miles Austin Gay?

|
Image

PhillyNo, he isn’t. But that headline got you to read this post, right? I bet you feel cheated now. And I don’t blame you. Because that’s exactly how I felt when I read this Philadelphia magazine story — because it’s not a story. At all. The cover tagline got me. “Which Eagles and Phillies Are Gay?” And I thought the opening spread (pictured) with Miles Austin cringing at the bottom of the pile (and giving me an excuse to post this item) was great. Like I say, though, the story was nothing. It’s about 2,500 words long. I can sum it up for you thusly: there are 100 athletes playing for Philly’s four major pro teams. Statistics suggest that about 10 of them are gay. That’s it. The rest of the piece is stuff like this:

[A] recent Phillies player, a renowned womanizer, has been rumored to be quite interested in men. There are whispers in gay circles about him picking up men at Knock, a bar on Washington Square West, and taking them back to his condo. Phillies insiders still murmur about his bisexuality.

Imagine, then, that you find out who that player is. Imagine he is, in fact, one of your favorites, that his name is … Cliff Lee.

OHHHHH! NOOOOO! Not Cliff. It couldn’t be Cliff.

Well, you’re right. It isn’t Cliff. Cliff Lee is married, and there’s not a shred of evidence I’m aware of that he’s gay or bisexual.

Great cover line. Great opening art. Really bad story idea.

Advertisement