Television

To My Horror, The Real Housewives of Dallas Will Get a Second Season

Please help me.

Cary_Deuber
Cary Deuber is ready for season two.

You’ve probably seen the news that The Real Housewives of Dallas will return for a second season. Jody Dean said that this development made me jump off the Large Marge. Well, almost. For those who missed it, I wrote recaps of the first season. It started as a labor of love, but as the show dragged on, writing the recaps took its toll on me. Each recap required about five hours of work (two hours to watch, as I rewound repeatedly to transcribe dialogue and take screen shots, then three hours to write). It was mind numbing. When the first season ended, I was elated. “Never again,” I declared. But now this. 

I am not inclined to recap the second season. How not inclined? I once made a bet with a friend. He said that the reason prisoners put a bar of soap in a pillowcase and beat someone with it is because it doesn’t leave a bruise. I told him how stupid he was. We bet $20. To prove I was right, I let him hit me as hard as he could in the thigh with a bar of Dove in a pillowcase. It hurt so much that I teared up. And, of course, I won the wager. I’d rather get hit in the ass with a bar soap in a pillowcase than recap season two. And I mean hit every week. No exaggeration.

However. The idea did occur to me: what if I launched a Kickstarter? I don’t know what the number is. Let’s say $20,000. If I could raise $20,000 for charity world, maybe then I’d write the recaps? I’m not sure. I also don’t know what the donors would get, besides the recaps. Right now, it’s just a thought.

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