Mike Hashimoto has been around at the Dallas Morning News forever. Something like 30 years, I think. He’s been a member of the paper’s editorial board for a while. And a few days ago, DMN editor Mike Wilson introduced him as a new Metro columnist. You might not have known, but should if you give his first column a cursory glance, that Hash is married to Jacqueline Floyd, who is also a DMN Metro columnist.
Tim and I got to talking about this the other day, and we decided it raised an interesting conundrum for Wilson.
A married couple, both Metro columnists. On the one hand, since they are sort of politically opposed, Wilson could steer into the skid, and run their columns side by side, create a he-said, she-said, Matalin-and-Carville dynamic. Not a bad play.
On the other hand, he could say that only a few people care, and they’re probably all in the media in some form anyway, and then he could focus on a more pressing matter:
Renaming his dog.
Who is named Story, and it is hard to even type that sentence. Story, because Compelling Narrative Lede is probably a little too formal. Unless it’s a bull mastiff, because in my opinion, Compelling Narrative Lede actually works. You can name a bull mastiff anything. I mean, you’d end up calling him (it’s probably a him) Comp, and that’s OK.
ANYHOW. Here are some other names that would work.
Brooks
Dunn
Reba
Dierks
Jimmie Dale
Myrna
Big Tom
Webb
Paddy
Vernon
Garth
Gator
Brewster
Billy Clyde
Billy Lynn
Vic
Brock
Telly
Dolph
Xander
Nikolai
Vin Diesel
Riddick
Groot
Kaulder
Magneto
Joker
Dr. Doom
Ra’s al Ghul
Sinestro
Juggernaut
Bullseye
Ozymandias
Deathstroke
Bane
Grodd
Baron Helmut Zemo
Mephisto
Cassandra
Mr. Mxyzpltlk
Prometheus
Shade
Dr. Manhattan
Lamster
Bubastis
Obadiah
Oswald
Pepper
Oracle
Sanjay
Angela
Angel
Anita
Rita
Banshee
Wendell
Venus
Gunnar
Valkyrie
Toro
Thaddeus
T’Challa
Sheva
Shana
Carmilla
Anya
Roxanne
Quasimodo
Pip
Medusa
Molly
Malcolm
Smash Williams
Riggs
Zola
Maurice
Dinah
Tilda
Elke
Queenie
Barton
C.C.
Laurence
Pappi
Llewyn
Johnny Five
S.P.E.C.T.R.E.
Wheezy Joe
Wrigley
Heinz
Ed Tom Bell
Delmar
Sheriff
Senator
Alderman Ariel Rebroyas
The Sicilian
Otter Bob
Raven
Clay Davis
Seagrass
Chubby
