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A D Magazine Guess-tigation

Recap of Gov. Rick Perry’s Monday Morning Press Briefing

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It’s after the jump.

"Governor Perry, I was hoping you could elaborate on the timing of your announceme--"
"Governor Perry, I was hoping you could elaborate on the timing of your announceme--"
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
"Sir, if you could maybe put the gun away for a moment, maybe we could--"
"Sir, if you could maybe put the gun away for a moment, maybe we could--"
"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"Governor, please, if we could just get back to--"
"Governor, please, if we could just get back to--"
"PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW!!!!!!"
"PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW!!!!!!"
"..."
"..."
"TAKE THAT YOU STUPID COYOTE!!!"
"TAKE THAT YOU STUPID COYOTE!!!"
"GOVERNOR PERRY, please if we could just -- wait, is that a grenade launcher? OK, OK, that's irrelevant, sorry. Sir, I think we have to insist that you put the guns away for at least a few moments."
"GOVERNOR PERRY, please if we could just -- wait, is that a grenade launcher? OK, OK, that's irrelevant, sorry. Sir, I think we have to insist that you put the guns away for at least a few moments."
"Fine, I'll give up them these guns, but those fools will never guess I'm still fully strapped with my other guns."
"Fine, I'll give them those guns, but the fools will never guess I'm still fully strapped with my other weapons."
"Sire, you said that into the microphone that is literally right in front of your face."
"Sir, you said that into the microphone that is literally right in front of your face."
"Fiddlesticks! OK."
"Fiddlesticks! OK."
"Here."
"Here."
"This, too."
"This, too."
"Oh, and better take this little guy. Almost forgot."
"Oh, and better take this little guy. Almost forgot."
"Governor, we need the knife..."
"Governor, we need the knife..."
"Whatever."
"Whatever."
anotherreporter
"...and the grenades, as well."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"OK, fine! Here. You happy now? You guys are real jerks, you know that? Jeez."
"OK, fine! Here. You happy now? You guys are real jerks, you know that? Jeez."
"This whole thing is stupid, anyway."
"This whole thing is stupid, anyway."
Rick Perry

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