The month isn’t over yet, but I think it’s fair to say that this one will win the prize [contact information redacted]:
From: C. Bruce Willis II
To: Glenn Hunter
Subject: CEO D-Magazine
Dear Mr. Hunter:
I represent Aircorp, Inc., who owns the 727 aircraft photographed in D-Magazine’s latest CEO Edition. The specific page of the aircraft is located on page 53, concerning Frederick Merril. This aircraft was used in your magazine for a commercial use without any prior written or oral consent and without any acknowledgment in the magazine of aircraft ownership. To avoid any judicial intervention and to resolve the matter amicably, we would like printed acknowledgment concerning this aircraft in your next issue.  Please give me a call if you have any questions. Thank you very much.
Sincerely,
 C. Bruce Willis, II
General Counsel, Aircorp
Dallas, Texas
(1) The aircraft was not “used for a commercial purpose.” It was in the background of an editorial photograph. Mr. Willis apparently missed that class in law school.  (2) It was parked at Dallas Love Field, which is public property. (3) We are not obliged to list the owners of every object included in every photograph in our magazines. Under Mr. Willis’ novel legal theory, every photo of the Dallas skyline would be required to list the owners of every building pictured. (4) What kind of “judicial intervention” does Mr. Willis have in mind? Is he going to rush down to the courthouse to try to keep us from publishing a magazine that has already been published? (5) If the objective of Mr. Willis’s letter was to obtain a public mention of Aircorp, Inc., the objective has now been achieved.Â
I assume that resolves the matter amicably. Let’s shake hands.
