Sports

MLB Nixes Texas Rangers’ Request to Have Dirk Nowitzki Throw Out a First Pitch

In other words, Dirk Nowitzki, the NBA's MOST MARKETABLE PLAYER, has no broad-base national appeal.

The Big German was one of the team’s nominees to throw out a first pitch at one of their home games. But according to our pal, ESPN’s Marc Stein, Major League Baseball decided not to approve the request. Why? One possible reason: the NBA’s current labor unrest. A MLB spokesperson denies that. Here’s their reasoning:

“You want the club’s input in what makes sense for them and then we talk about what makes sense for the team and a good broad-base national appeal.”

I don’t even know what to tell you guys. OK. I’ll try. In other words, Dirk Nowitzki, the NBA’s MOST MARKETABLE PLAYER, has no broad-base national appeal. Bud Selig can go jump in a lake full of rusty pitchforks and food-deprived sharks.

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