1. If you’re in Grapevine High School right now, I hope you’re wearing pants like these. And I hope your computer is not plugged in. And I hope that the road ahead is lit with dreams and tomorrows … which are lit with dreams. Also.
3. Startlegram headline on Anna Tinsley’s “George W. Bush homecoming” story: “Bush family returning to a different Dallas.” Miami Herald‘s take: “Changed Dallas (the sheriff’s now a lesbian) greets Bush.” The winner? Journalism!
4. Are you ready for the best city council election year ever? It’s got ex-military helicopter pilots, students teachers, distant and direct relatives of Al Lipscomb, crazy amounts of money, and subplots galore. God, I hope one of them gets a crazy amount of press and then comes up short of qualifying. Why? No reason.
5. If you have already put money on the Cowboys to rebound next season and tie the Steelers with six Super Bowl titles, pray you are dealing with a novice bookie and ask for all of it back. Of course, if you’ve already put money on anything concerning the next NFL season, you probably have bigger fish to fry. You likely have ludomania and, no, that does not mean you are a fan of this generic pop-rock combo.
6. Go ahead and give up on the Rangers, too.
7. Speaking of, this was all over the place over the weekend and now, sweet, beautiful Frontburnervians, via the magical, mysterious power of hyperlinks, it’s here: allegedly, A-Rod tested positive for steroids in 2003, the year he won MVP as a member of Your Texas Rangers. The only thing he had previously tested positive for was looking like a tool in Oakley sunglasses.
8. Random Wikipedia “Fact”: Did you know that Mavs’ P.A. announcer “Humble” Billy Hayes is senior pastor at Richardson’s Grace Church? And that his job description, according to him, is — and I’m assuming he’s talking about being a pastor — “I teach people how to love each other”? This makes my abject hatred for him much more complicated.
9. Since we’re here: would it have killed “Humble” Billy or Chris Arnold or Ali D or anyone with a microphone to explain where Jet Terry disappeared to during Saturday night’s Mavs/Bulls tilt? Being the observant fan I am, I eventually noticed he wasn’t on the bench and texted Eric for the 411. The fact that led to an exchange that, if reprinted here, would cost us both our jobs is neither here nor there.
10. You know who did show up ready to play on Saturday night? The Marching Musical Machine of the Mid-South, that’s who. Arkansas Pine Bluff up in this piece. Did they do the dance featured near the end of this classic House Party clip? What do I look like, their biographer? But yes, yes they did.
11. While looking for that last link, I got bored and found this, called “Dallas Texas Freeway Tour.” Yes, it’s pretty much exactly what the title implies. Spoiler alert: it gets a little rainy, and did absolutely nothing for my boredom. Not Freewayjim‘s best work. I prefer “US-302 West, New Hampshire to Vermont REMIX.”
12. This is how you get Eric Celeste to read Leading Off: P90X for your brain.
13. This is how you get Paul Kix to read Leading Off: Charles E. Seay, a local philanthropist who donated more than $30 million to UT Southwestern, died Saturday at 94.
15. Garland man whose names sounds like the guy from Simon & Simon (no, the other one) fixes his $70,000 car in 10 minutes for $1. It’s basically the same way I fixed my VW (I did it for free, but I guess you could consider the old picture frame a sunk cost) but you don’t see me bragging about it. No, I’m not bragging about it now. Subtle difference.
16. And finally, in case you were wondering, yes, the Northridge Blue Star Wars remain undefeated (with one tie) in PK4/5 league play.