Forever Boneheads

Formed in 1919 “to serve no purpose whatsoever,” the Bonehead Club of Dallas has been doing just that-and laughing all the while-ever since. They require luncheon guests to sit in a fairly authentic-looking electric chair “powered” by an overhead solar panel, and they delight in chanting their credo: “To learn more and more about less and less until we know everything about nothing.”

Chief Bonehead Farris Rookstool attempts to ride herd on the free-form banter with the tenuous authority of a referee at a wrestling match. Typical humor: One elderly Bonehead, asked his opinion on the recent indictment of a local justice of the peace, wonders if marriages performed by that judge should be considered binding.

During one recent meeting, tickets to a Texas Rangers game were passed out to the members. Those who said they could not attend gave their tickets to those who needed extras; seats were swapped so wives could sit together, etc. And the whole straight-faced fuss was over a ball game that had been played three weeks before.

Well, what can you expect from a club that limits its membership to 57-because that’s the number of Heinz varieties? Groucho Marx, who claimed that he “wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me for a member,” would have felt right at home among the Boneheads.