Approximately once every two years, the stars align and something magical happens. My wife and children go out of town and leave me to my own devices. For me, in general, this means one thing: unmitigated, unlimited carousing. I put out the call to my peeps and my homeys and my bros, and we go shut down some bars. Or, you know, play some Golden Tee. Truthfully, I’m really only good for a night or two. Then I grow bored with carousing, run out of steam, and begin to miss my wife and children. But for those two nights, boy howdy! Katy bar the door and other folksy expressions!
Except, as it turns out, the Great Tuxedo Challenge of 2012, brought to you by Patron XO Cafe, with special help from Al’s Formal Wear, changed all that. Yesterday morning, I dropped off my family at the airport. At 8:45 that night, sitting at my house, I had a decision to make. I could go to Goodfriend and drink till the taps spit air — or I could stay home and take off the tux. Those are the rules. If I’m out, the tux is on. If I’m in, the thing can come off at a quarter till 9. Carousal or cool comfort? That was my dilemma.
You know how this story ends. Though the stars were aligned, I wound up sitting in my underwear, watching gymnastics.
