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Football

Dallas’ Newest Wide Receiver Is an Actual Cowboy

The James Washington era is already a lot of fun
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Yeehaw! Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

Here’s a trade secret: sometimes, athletes miss media calls. Not often, of course, but things happen, some of which are more understandable than others.

James Washington, whom the Cowboys signed to a one-year deal to help replace Amari Cooper, apparently was supposed to be on one earlier this week. He wasn’t, for a rather understandable reason: per the Cowboys’ David Helman, Washington’s ranch outside Abilene received an unexpected shipment of hay. Being the responsible proprietor he is, the 25-year-old had to take care of it.

So, yeah, the Cowboys have a genuine wrangler on the payroll.

Here’s how Washington describes a day in his life during the offseason.

I am very here for this, mostly so I can imagine a world in which other players’ offseason vocations align with their teams. Would Washington’s old squad, the Steelers, ever recruit an iron worker? Can a retired military officer find a second calling with the Washington Commanders? How does San Francisco go about excavating a 49er and sticking him in pads? What size human qualifies as a Titan or a Giant?

This exercise will peak once we get jungle cats running amok in Detroit, Cincinnati, and Jacksonville. For now, it begins with at least a season with James Washington, cowboy and Cowboy. Giddy-up.

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Mike Piellucci

Mike Piellucci

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Mike Piellucci is D Magazine's sports editor. He is a former staffer at The Athletic and VICE, and his freelance…

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