Obviously the word is out that I’ve put on some weight—the good people at Jenny Craig left me a voice mail today. Valerie Bertinelli aside, I’m not ready to go back yet. I am ready to try a magical elixer though. Barring that, I’ll try Wake Up. Available at Target, it’s a breakfast drink that provides 250% of the recommended daily intake of Vitamin C, EGCG (a green tea extract), Vitamins A and E, calcium, and potassium. It comes in six fruity flavors, and even though I don’t like fruit, I’m going to try it because the company employed the title of my favorite Wham! song (“Wake Me Up Before You Go Go“) in the press release. You’ll know if it works–I’ll be sporting a bikini at all times.