Late last year, we — the various editors and writers and what have you at the many and wonderful branches of the D Family Tree — met to discuss how we were going to handle the rollout of all the different mayoral campaigns. We decided, after a bit of spirited (but collegial!) back and forth, to give everyone their own day. You know, devote our personal 24-hour news cycle to one candidate at a time. Well, devote our personal 24-hour news cycle to one candidate at a time each business day. We like our weekends.
But, OK, we underestimated, or misestimated, I guess, the amount of candidates and overestimated (or, again, misestimated) the amount of time left remaining until the election. So, just so we can all concentrate on the issues, we have to cut it short and just say simply what we are all now coming to realize:
We are all running for Dallas mayor.
Oh, did you not know? Now you do. And when I say all, I do not mean “a lot.” I mean all of us, everyone except Mike Rawlings, who is term-limited out, and our owner Wick Allison, who just cackle-laughed and slapped me on the shoulder.
And also when I say we are all running, I mean we are all running together, as one candidate, unopposed. There will be no runoff.
I, for one, am pretty excited. And not because I tried and failed to run for Dallas mayor previously. Actually, that’s the only reason, because this all sounds like a cluster, logistically. But this is what is happening. We are all going to be Dallas’ new mayor. Parades are going to take days. Maybe weeks. That’s just for a start. Reporters and columnists looking for comment from the mayor will find themselves buried in returning phone calls and also conflicted because they are also the mayor. But, again, there is no avoiding this. It is happening so get used to it.
I know what you’re thinking and the answer is this: we are installing a horseshoe at the Cotton Bowl and we are going to have council meetings there. Any other questions? No? Good.