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A Simple Proposal: Tear Down the Convention Center

1. Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau president Philip Jones said we needed a hotel to make the convention center work. We gave him one. Now he says we need we need bigger ballrooms and more flexible multipurpose meeting space, because "he has a list of large convention groups that either have canceled plans to come to Dallas or may cancel because 'they no longer fit.'" You know what I would love? I would love to see that list. 2. OK, so we spend $300 million or whatever it ends up being so the United American Consortium of Briefcase Salesmen of America will keep coming to Dallas. Super. Do you want me to tell you what happens next, or are you the kind of person that doesn't want to see the movie until they've read the book? You know what? I'm going anyway. OK, OK, next Philip Jones is going to say that the hotel needs some upgrades -- let's say $200 million -- because it's no longer suitable, and the North American Confederation of Pet Accessories Dealers Worldwide is for sure going to cancel because of it. Then the convention center will need something. Maybe a heliport and a series of underground canals, because the Universal Order of Scuba Suppliers likes to be near water. I'd price that out at around $400 million, but that is only if Jones serves as his own general contractor. 3. We've spent $500 million, and we're on a path that will see us spend God knows how much more to do what? Save Philip Jones' $600,000 job? No thanks. We're getting pushed around by groups of heating and air conditioning professionals. Is everyone excited that we're turning into St. Louis? 4. The convention center doesn't make money. It makes us spend money to construct more and more ornate crutches to prop it up, but it doesn't make money. 5. Tearing it down gets us off Jones' handout treadmill. But also: how much would that amount of prime downtown property be worth on the open market? And how much property tax would a new development in that location generate every year? Maybe I'm ridiculously, hilariously wrong here. Maybe I just like blowing stuff up.
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1. Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau president Philip Jones said we needed a hotel to make the convention center work. We gave him one. Now he says we need bigger ballrooms and more flexible multipurpose meeting space, because “he has a list of large convention groups that either have canceled plans to come to Dallas or may cancel because ‘they no longer fit.'” You know what I would love? I would love to see that list.

2. OK, so we spend $300 million or whatever it ends up being so the United American Consortium of Briefcase Salesmen of America will keep coming to Dallas. Super. Do you want me to tell you what happens next, or are you the kind of person that doesn’t want to see the movie until they’ve read the book? You know what? I’m going anyway. OK, OK, next Philip Jones is going to say that the hotel needs some upgrades — let’s say $200 million — because it’s no longer suitable, and the North American Confederation of Pet Accessories Dealers Worldwide is for sure going to cancel because of it. Then the convention center will need something. Maybe a heliport and a series of underground canals, because the Universal Order of Scuba Suppliers likes to be near water. I’d price that out at around $400 million, but that is only if Jones serves as his own general contractor.

3. We’ve spent $500 million, and we’re on a path that will see us spend God knows how much more to do what? Save Philip Jones’ $600,000 job? No thanks. We’re getting pushed around by groups of heating and air conditioning professionals. Is everyone excited that we’re turning into St. Louis?

4. The convention center doesn’t make money. It makes us spend money to construct more and more ornate crutches to prop it up, but it doesn’t make money.

5. Tearing it down gets us off Jones’ handout treadmill. But also: how much would that amount of prime downtown property be worth on the open market? And how much property tax would a new development in that location generate every year? Maybe I’m ridiculously, hilariously wrong here. Maybe I just like blowing stuff up.

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