Here is a little something that Zac and I put together for the back page of the April issue, the entire contents of which do not automatically go online. We gave it the same headline you see on this post and offered no other explanation. See if you can figure out who on this list called because h/she was upset about his/her made-up quote.
Jean Baptiste Adoue Jr. (mayor 1951—1953): “Being the mayor of Dallas is like being one of the best tennis players in the state of Texas in 1915. It’s okay, but you won’t impress anyone from New York.”
Dwaine Caraway (2011): “Being the mayor of Dallas is like being Will Smith in I Am Legend. You’re a badass. You can drive any car on the street. You have your pick, whichever one you want. The keys are in the ignition. Jaguar, Escalade, maybe even one of those Smart cars, just to mix it up. You can haul ass down every street because there aren’t any cops, and you can shoot antelope and tigers and everything with an M16 right out the window as you drive. It’s a total rush. Except then one day everyone comes back, and they’re like, ‘Gimme my damn car.’ And your wife tries to stab you.”