Things to Do in Dallas Tonight: Dec. 13

Friends, I’m sorry to say that your procrastinating ways have finally caught up with you. The Idle Rich Pub has sent word that all the seats for tonight’s Christmas Beer Tasting have sold out.

That means you’ll have to remain sober for tonight’s Oak Ridge Boys concert at the Eisemann Center – a dangerous proposition, I’ll grant you. The barely concealed rage that bubbles just under the surface of their music, the latent animosity apparent in their highly charged political lyrics – (“My baby is American made/Born and bred in the USA”) – threatens to form an explosive mix when exposed to a mind free of inebriation.

I take as evidence these two facts: 1) My best friend in the fourth grade was entirely too fond of repeatedly singing “Elvira” during recess and 2) I broke my best friend’s arm during recess in fourth grade.

Not willing to risk releasing your own violent tendencies? Here are other things to do in Dallas.

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