1. This is something that actually occurred: “A Louisiana man was sentenced Monday to five years in prison for stealing a newborn calf and beating it to death with a shovel after the Saints lost to the Dallas Cowboys last season.”
2. The Mavericks are rolling, winning their sixth in a row last night against the Houston Rockets. Good way to celebrate Dirk Nowitzki being named Western Conference player of the week. And so I continue having a Google stranglehold on this phrase: I see you, big German!
3. Apparently, the Super Bowl will be a magnet for pickpockets. I called my usual pickpocket source, the Artful Dodger, but he would neither confirm nor deny the report, suggesting I try his boss, Fagin, instead.
4. Parents, be sure to talk to your teenage girls about flexisexuality, but maybe skip the reference to Madonna and Britney Spears kissing, because they probably won’t remember that happening or who those people are. Also, don’t talk to them about some made up word.
5. Also, Virgin America is almost here.
