Christmas trees after January 1
Brenda Lee’s Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
75 degrees Fahrenheit
Christmas Muzak in elevators
K-Tel record ads
Ronco ads
Ads
Light-up plastic Santas
Light-up plastic Santas on the lawn
Plastic snow underneath light-up
plastic Santas on the lawn
Toys that say “Some assembly required”
Toys that say “Batteries not included”
Toys that don’t say “Batteries not included,” but that require them
Toys with batteries, period
Fake birds making fake bird noises in fake Christmas trees
Christmas cards without so much as a signature
People who tell you the number of shopping days left
People who tell you the number of shopping days left because they’ve finished
People who finish
Plastic garland
Plastic mistletoe
Cabbage Patch dolls
Fruitcake
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