WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE…

SOME HUSBANDS AND WIVES are so angry they just want to fight, while others are so submissive they can’t. Some husbands and wives are so dominant they won’t concede anything, while others feel so guilty they won’t keep anything. For all these reasons, we will always need divorce lawyers.

Here are some of Dallas’s best, the “top guns” of their profession. “If your spouse shows up in court with one of these guys,” says a Dallas attorney, “you better go out and hire one of them for yourself.”

Mike McCurley: Once, in a custody case, Mike McCurley was cross-examining his client’s husband. The man appeared calm and poised before the jury. But the jury didn’t know what Mike knew-the husband, a macho man who tormented his wife and children, had a very bad temper.

McCurley kept after the man, making his anger boil to the surface. Then McCurley went for the kill, bringing up occasions when the man had been less than satisfying to his wife. The man came unhinged and came out of the witness box swinging. McCurley had revealed his true nature for the jury’s consideration.

Mike McCurley is the pugnacious street fighter who does all the custody work for Koons, Rasor, Fuller & McCurley, the boutique divorce shop for the Dallas rich and rising. Considered the top custody lawyer for mothers in this city, McCurley has no trouble identifying with his clients. He has been divorced twice and has joint custody of his teenage daughter.

Bill Koons: Mike McCurley may be tough, but his partner. Bill Koons, is downright mean. Outside the courtroom he seems almost boyish and charming, but inside, Koons knows just one modus operandi: make like a pit bull.

Although lawyers claim his bone-chilling intimidation isn’t right for every case, when raw power is needed, Koons has no peer. He represents the wives of doctors and lawyers, and he savors the prospect of cross-examining high-level corporate types, men used to giving orders. Many prefer to settle, unwilling to be gnawed on by the pit bull in a public courtroom.

Ken Fuller: “If I tried to be an intimidator in court,” says Ken Fuller, “folks would think I was pickin’ on them.” Fuller prefers his own style: he’s the epitome of the good ol’ boy, the Garland country lawyer come downtown to make it big.

Fuller endears himself to juries. When everyone’s feeling “all comfortable,” even hostile witnesses relax and agree with him. Soon they’re telling Ken Fuller things they would only tell their closest friends.

“Don’t let that country crap fool you,” says one attorney. “He’s as smart as they come-you can’t bluff him.” Considered one of the top negotiators in town, Fuller will act like he’s giving away the store when he hasn’t really given an inch.

Ike Vanden Eykel: For those who question his sky-high fees, Ike Vanden Eykel points to a plaque on the wall of his Galleria office that reads: “Gunfighters don’t charge by the bullet.”

Yet there’s something slightly incongruent about the slogan, because Vanden Eykel isn’t cut from the same cloth as a McCurley or a Koons. He’s not the street fighter, he’s the young urban professional. But don’t think clean-cut means no killer instinct, because Vanden Eykel has his share of that. In the courtroom, he is every mother’s son, bright, tenacious, and cloaked with a natural sincerity that has enabled him to win custody for many a Dallas dad.

Don Smith: When Anne Bass went shopping for a divorce lawyer, someone to do battle with husband Sid in Fort Worth’s wealthiest family feud, she turned to Dallas attorney Don Smith.

With Sid claiming the bulk of his fortune as separate property, Anne needed someone highly skilled at rooting out the source of their marital property-and Don Smith is highly regarded as the best tracing man in the business.

Juries are persuaded by Smith’s fiery oratorical style, his righteous indignation. His rapid-fire questions give witnesses little time to think. Suddenly they’re caught up in a morality play starring Don Smith in the role of Billy Graham.

Joe Geary: Joe Geary is the first to tell you he taught Bill Koons everything he knows. Only Geary says he had a lot more to teach. Koons only has one style, but Joe Geary is more selectively aggressive. He plays gladiator, orator, or country lawyer, whichever suits his case.

Geary did divorce work before it became fashionable. He built a large downtown law firm, Geary, Stahl and Spencer, by representing old Dallas money. He enjoys the sport of litigation, the challenge of setting a trap, intimidating a witness with a smile: “Were you lying then or are you lying now?”