On Friday, Deep Vellum publisher Will Evans posted to Twitter a shot of himself with County Commissioner John Wiley Price. The two are standing in Price’s office, holding copies of The Accommodation, which D Magazine called “the most dangerous book in Dallas.” If you don’t know about the book, you can read about it here. Short version: Jim Schutze wrote it, Price owns the rights, and it has been out of print for a long time. The book comes out in September. If you pre-order it through Deep Vellum, yours will be a signed copy.
All of which I tell you by way of setup for our discussion about who should read the hypothetical audio version of the book. Former council member Philip Kingston replied to Evans’ tweet saying that he wants to do the reading and that he has support from Jim. I attempted to confirm this by texting Jim. My laziness didn’t get me very far, because all Jim did was text back a joke about how Kingston was also standing in for him for the naked pictures.
So I would just like to state here, for the record, that Kingston’s participation on both fronts would be a bad idea. For obvious reasons, Jim’s body double should be Post Malone. As for the reading, I can’t immediately think of a worse choice than Kingston. This has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with Kingston’s nasally, irritating voice. No disrespect.
Here, then, are my picks to do the audio book version The Accommodation:
John Wiley Price. Why not? He’s got a great voice, and he owns the book. He’d do a great job.
Dwaine Caraway. Again, he’s got a great voice, maybe one of the best this city has ever heard. He has time on his hands. And his reading The Accommodation would be deeply ironic in a way that I think we’d all appreciate.
Krys Boyd. It’s almost too obvious. She’s got great pipes, and I bet she has already read the book five or six times. She knows the material.
Mike Rhyner. Ah, yes. The Old Grey Wolf. Now in his pseudo retirement, away from the nurturing biosphere of the mother ship, he’d do a wonderful read.
I’m certain I’ve overlooked another good candidate or two. You’ll let me know in the comments.