Today’s Steve Blow column is an interesting one. He calls out Irving Mayor Beth Van Duyne for telling lies about him. She has been going around to Tea Party groups, telling them that Blow hasn’t called sources, lawyers who she said would tell Blow how Shariah law has interfered with their cases. Van Duyne has also said that Blow went “ballistic” on her during a phone conversation. In short, Van Duyne has said that Blow is a bad reporter and a lug.
Now listen to me. The other night, I made the mistake of renting Get Hard. I’m a big Will Ferrell fan. How bad could it be, right? Answer: very bad. Do not see Get Hard, even if you are a big Will Ferrell fan. Trust me on this. But I picture Steve Blow a lot like Ferrell’s character in that movie. Even if Steve Blow hired an incarceration expert to teach him how to make a mad dog face, he’d still have a hard time looking hard. In other words, “ballistic” simply isn’t in his repertoire. So you know that Van Duyne is lying.
How does he fire back at her? Blow says she is telling “big fat fibs” before laying out his side of how things went down and concluding with:
Let’s do give Van Duyne credit for telling the truth about one thing. She’s greeted as a hero in these tea party meetings for standing up to Muslims, but she charmingly protests, “There is nothing I did that was heroic.”
Amen to that.
That’s the sorriest mad dog face I’ve ever seen. I’m trying to imagine how Mike Royko or Molly Ivins would have handled a similar situation. They would have used their teeth. That’s how. Blow gets ahold of this bone and gives it a mild gumming. I picture Van Duyne reading this column and giggling because it tickles so much.
I understand that Blow is one of the folks at the paper who has put his name in the hopper for a buyout. Now’s not the time to hold back. There’s no reason to keep your powder dry. Fire both barrels! Use some teeth! Mix up some other nasty metaphor! At the very least, call a liar a liar.