Rick Perry Clarifies His Remarks About Homosexuality

“Governor Perry, I just want to make sure I have this right. You said, and I quote, ‘whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that.’ Is that right?”

“That, ah, yeah, that sounds right.”

“OK, and then you said — and, again, I’m quoting you here — ‘I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.'”

“Um, yeah. Where is this going?”

“Well, I was just wondering if, you know–“

“Cheez-Its H. Christ, hand, spit it out!”

“Did you just admit to being an alcoholic?”

“What? No.”

“What in the GD heck? Where did you get that load of horse mess?”

“Well, um, from your quote, Governor. You said, ‘I may have the genetic coding to be–‘”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. I said, ‘may have,’ slim. MAY HAVE.”

“Right. But then you said, let’s see, ‘But I have the desire not to do that.’ Which, I mean, if you weren’t an alcoholic, why would you even have to make a choice?”

“What? No. I mean — no. Like, I meant, you know, like maybe my daddy drank too much, and I didn’t want to be like–“

“So, your father was an alcoholic?”

“I swear, son, you are working on my last nerve.”

“OK, but following your logic, say your father was tall, but you had, as you say, ‘no desire’ to be tall, do you think you could go against your genetic coding and not be tall?”