STOP POSTING THERMOMETER PICS ON FACEBOOK/TWITTER/INSTAGRAM. And don’t think you can get around it by posting thermometer shots of somewhere else and saying “I wish 🙂 !!!!!!” because that is maybe even worse. I am a human with working nerves and ruined shirts so I obviously know what the temperature is, and I live in Texas, so I could probably guess even if you locked me in a sensory depravation tank, or banged me on the head so I turned into the guy from Memento/Tim. I stay up late, have a laptop, and am an extremely good guesser (the number you’re thinking of right now is 8), so please do not make me lock all of you out of your accounts, because I will do so.
Your “pal,”
Zac
