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An Insider’s Look at Plano’s New Backyard Chicken Ordinance

Plano’s new rule opened the door to plenty of fresh poultry, like these two.

Some of our coworkers were a little surprised, sure. I guess not too many chickens move from Oak Cliff to Plano. So I get it on one level. But they have this notion of what Plano is like even though they’ve never been here. They’re just parroting stereotypes. No disrespect to parrots. I didn’t mean anything by that. Gotta be careful what you say these days, you know? I said something the other day on a Zoom meeting about someone having an albatross around their neck, and you wouldn’t believe how I got my leg chewed off. Mind you, these weren’t albatrosses that got all offended. I know some albatrosses. “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”? They’re just happy that Coleridge gave them a mention. No, it was starlings. Of course. A murmuration of woke starlings.

Honestly, that’s one of the main reasons we decided to leave Oak Cliff. We’d had enough of the—well, let’s just say there are a lot of D Magazine subscribers down there, if you catch my drift. So the day—the very same day—in September that the Plano City Council voted to allow chickens, we started scrolling through Zillow. We got lucky, for sure. The housing market is as crazy as a loon right now.

You know what? Leave that in there. I don’t care. Let ’em get offended. Because that’s just a fact. Loons sound crazy.

Anyway, what was I saying? We were doing the work-from-home thing way before the pandemic. So it hasn’t been a huge adjustment for us. We keep in touch with some of our Oak Cliff friends, and they always ask about the hen limit. Plano capped it at 10 per house, whereas in Dallas there’s no limit, but at our age, we don’t need to be hanging out with, like, a whole brood of chickens. What? Are we going to stay up all night pickling okra and binge-watching Gentleman Jack? Those days are behind us. It’s just me and Carol now. We’re happy together. Obviously the no roosters rule is fine by us.

So. Yeah. It’s been great. We love Oak Point Park. We keep meaning to check out Arbor Hills. Seems like every weekend we’re at Legacy Hall. Whatever you’re in the mood for, it’s there. Not crazy about Roots Chicken Shak, but whatever. And we’re looking forward to the Black Rifle Coffee Company that’s opening in the old TGI Friday’s spot next month. We support those guys and what they do for the troops.

The schools! I have to mention the schools. They really are wonderful. Everyone always says that, and it’s true. We’ve got none of those problems like they have in Southlake, where, to quote from the Blue Book, there are cunning megalomaniacs seeking to make themselves the absolute rulers of a human race of enslaved robots, in which every civilized trait has been destroyed. Do your research!

I’m sorry. Carol says I’ve got to quit getting so worked up about this stuff. She’s right.

We laid a dozen eggs last week. It’s all good.

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