The City

I have before me a definite must for your required reading list. It’s what they call a “sleeper” in the publishing biz. The author is Mayor Wes Wise, and he has produced one of the knee slapping funniest pieces of political satire I’ve seen in years. It’s entitled “Dallas Now, A State of the City Report from the Mayor.”

The premise of “Dallas Now” is that the mayor will report to We, the People, on just what it is he and the City Council have done for us in the past year. Fact is, there’s just not a whole lot to report. That’s where the laughs come in.

The mayor, most assuredly with a complete deadpan, trumpets such earth-shattering accomplishments as “commitment to balanced budget without tax increase leads to successful containment of rising costs.” Setting aside for a moment the fact that the sentence is very nearly unintelligible, let’s discuss what Wes is trying to put over on us here. I think he’s asking us to give him credit for the fact that we have no tax increase coming in 1974-75. He has conspicuously neglected to point out that the only reason we do not have a tax hike coming is because the Federal government, in its beneficence, laid a hunk of revenue sharing funds on us. Also, it’s worth pointing out that according to knowledgeable folks at City Hall, it’s going to take some mean juggling to avert a fat tax increase in 1975-76. So much for “containment of rising costs.”

There is more. Now the mayor proudly brags about “council members increasingly lending expertise at state and national levels in program areas affecting urban policy, notably State Department-sponsored tours to Moscow and the Orient.. .” This is very strange. I think Wise is saying he wants us to be impressed by all the junkets to meaningless “urban conferences” he and the rest of the council have been taking. This is what we call in the journalism trade, Afghan-istanism, otherwise known as fiddling around in Venice while Rome burns. While the mayor and the rest of the council have been “lending expertise” at state and national levels, Dallas still isn’t even close to a sorely needed mass transit system, crime continues to burgeon and downtown is withering away on the vine.

The mayor does have a few things to say about each of the aforementioned problem areas. Under transportation, he openly admits the council hasn’t done much but lay “ground work… for future mass transit.” But he tries to make that up to us by taking credit for the “opening of the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport.” Technically, you are correct, Wes. The regional airport did open while you were mayor. I think I recall that you even got to cut a ribbon or something. But if you’re trying to imply-and I think you are -that you were instrumental in the birth of that project, I hope you have forwarded copies of “Dallas Now” to Erik Jons-son because I don’t think he knows you had anything to do with it.

Under crime: “Support for Big CIS and other prevention efforts to aid potential crime victims continued …” Interesting that the mayor would ballyhoo the continuance of these leftovers of the Frank Dyson years, when a lot of police officials openly admit Big CIS and other projects have been complete bombs.

Under downtown: “Major development adjoining Transportation Terminal complex approved .. .” Once again, mayor, we know better. We know, for example, that private developers and City Manager George Schrader worked out the details of the Union Terminal project for months before you and the council were even told about the development.

These are but highlights of this thoroughly delightful, often hilarious piece of prose from the mayor. Pick one up sometime and read it for laughs. But don’t start thinking about it too much. Like all satire, the mayor’s state of the city report has a tragic underbelly. When I was through chortling about it, a sinking feeling rushed through me. Between the lines was one very depressing message: This mayor and this council really don’t have much of anything to show for a year’s worth of meetings and studies and plans and taxpayer’s money, and I think they’d rather we didn’t find out about it. Sort of like a teenager bringing home a lousy report card. But now, thanks to the mayor and his “Dallas Now”, the cat, as they say, is out of the bag.



Dear Councilpersons,

Just a quick note of congrats on your incredible footwork on the matter of regulating abortion clinics in Dallas. It was a helluva soft-shoe.

Except, if you’ll take a look, I believe you ripped your britches on the last high kick. You see, as I think you all know, there are a lot of serious complaints about medical incompetence in abortion clinics floating around these days. I think some of you even said you’d heard such gripes from constituents.

And I think you’ll agree that we’re not talking about any fly-by-night issue here. The complaints I’ve heard and seen on file in various agencies are about abortions performed on under-age girls, no post-abortion medical check ups, unsanitary clinical conditions and yes, even some allegations of permanent physical harm as the result of incompetently performed abortions.

So we’ve got a serious problem here, and as I understood it, the ordinance proposed to you – with some revision-was calculated to do something about it. Why is it, then, that you dropped the ordinance, and the whole issue, like a hot potato?

Oh, I heard your excuses. A couple of you said the ordinance was too broad. Well, if it was too broad, then change it. That’s what you’re there for. The point is, some kind of regulation is needed. Then I heard a couple more of you trying to pass it off with “this isn’t a city matter, it’s state business …” Oh, come on. You must be aware that in Texas cities are granted something called home rule for the specific purpose of allowing them to deal legislatively with their own problems. Granted, some kind of state regulatory statute on abortion clinics is needed. But I have a feeling we all could grow old waiting for the legislature to do anything about it.

But I have a feeling these weren’t the real reasons for your cop-out. I think maybe what happened was that you mistakenly thought this ordinance was putting you in the position of passing judgment on the issue of abortion per se, which scared the devil out of you. I can understand that it would terrify you, but, you see, you weren’t being asked to do that. You were simply being asked to insure that women in our city don’t get butchered by incompetent or unscrupulous clinics. Sort of like the way you insure that we don’t eat unsanitary food in our restaurants.

Oh well, what the heck. Your hands are clean, right? You passed that buck straight down to Austin. And since abortion oddly has become more taboo to talk about since its legalization by the Supreme Court, you look pretty safe not to hear much more about it again.

Again, congratulations on a fine performance. You really showed us what you’re made of.