I’ve known Phyllis McKnight a long time. We met in 2001, if memory serves, when I began working for D Magazine. She had a different last name (Cole-Spence), and I had hair (brown). Phyllis was on her second tour of duty at the magazine. Let’s see if I can get this right. Her résumé goes: D Magazine, Wall Street Journal, back to D Magazine, off to Children’s as a VP of development, then to PaperCity as publisher, some place called Blue Calypso as VP of national sales, CultureMap because she apparently has an affinity for places that camel-case their names, an ad agency called Commerce House, and then back to D Magazine. I’m probably forgetting something.
Phyllis is now our group publisher. I’m not sure if that means she can fire me. She has an office, and I don’t. If I had to guess, I’d say she could fire me. But I’ve got something she doesn’t, and that’s a username and password to FrontBurner. (Seriously, if your company doesn’t camel-case at least part of its operation, you need to think about getting another job.) Phyllis rejoined us a few weeks back. I’m a little tardy in conducting her orientation Q&A. Here’s how that went down via Gchat earlier this morning:
Tim: Hi, co-worker!
Phyllis: Hi Timmy!
Tim: How excited are you for the upcoming all-company meeting at Top Golf?
Phyllis: I’ve been brushing up on my golf swing and trying to memorize names of all of the employees so I don’t strike out on biz and fun.
Tim: What’s your handicap?
Phyllis: Wine at night. Oh, you meant golf. When I say “brush up,” I mean I need to try it for the first time.
Tim: Okay, so this is your third tour of duty at D Magazine. Do you and Eric Celeste have some sort of bizarre competition going between the two of you?
Phyllis: I’m in good company with Eric Celeste. Let him know that I quit last night and Wick hired me back this morning. It’s my 4th time around. Tell Eric to get busy.
Tim: Your kung fu is strong. With all the experience you’ve had — working at legacy print, digital, heck even healthcare — why would you come back to tiny little D Magazine and crazy Wick Allison?
Phyllis: “Tiny” is a relative term. We were only 18 people the second time I came back to D. Now we have over 100! “Crazy” is relative, too. I love it here!
Tim: Your title is group publisher. What does that mean you do?
Phyllis: I oversee revenue operations for all of our titles. I also clean the kitchen and break down magazine boxes.
Tim: What is your plan for doubling our revenue, growing the company to 200 employees, and making the D brand more dominant than it already is? Please be specific in your answer.
Phyllis: I’m going to get a Ouija board and sell my soul to the devil. OR hypnotize the editors to do my bidding. I’ll decide later today.
Tim: I think “Devil” in that usage should be upper case. But whatever. I have a 10’clock meeting I need to attend, so I’m going to let you go do your job. Please make lots of money so that I can use it to buy pretty photographs and long, investigative stories for the magazine. I’m happy you’re back. For now.
Phyllis: I’m heading into that same meeting. If you see a spinning wheel at your seat, you’ll know my master plan is at work. xo
