Leading Off (8/30/12)

Rick Perry “Most Likely” To Seek Another Term As Governor.Unless the good Lord’s got  a different plan” for him. He told this to an Asian reporter with a comically tiny microphone, then high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (Yes, I know it’s different when I just type it and don’t string together a dozen photos from Google Images.)

Frisco Tanning Salon Owner Arrested For Peeping. Two girls, ages 16 and 19, complained to police that Justin Bracken was spying on them while they were naked at his Celebrity Tan and Boutique. Then Bracken allegedly high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (I’m sorry. That was insensitive. I’m sleep-deprived. Call 972-292-6200 if you know of any other potential victims in the case.)

Prime Prep To Play First Football Game On Friday. Maybe. Or Maybe Not. Or Possibly. Or Perhaps Not. But They Might. Unless They Don’t. If they do, it will be against Parish Episcopal. If they don’t, they’re going to have a lock-in and tell ghost stories, founder Deion Sanders said. Then he high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air. (Comedy rule of three. I had to.)


  • Bravo Zac!!!! Great LEADING OFF! I am actually laughing out loud (or lmmfao) at 6:40 am! This might set a historical marker for comments today simply because it is funny and will wake up the D (non-italisized) Nation with humor!

    Forget the mosquitoes, humor is back! Forget the dirty, stinky 29 day old tuxedos, we have humor ladies and gents!

    Comment Prediction: 17
    We just high-fived Chuck Norris, drained the rest of his Chard, and shot a pistol in the air !!

  • john

    And if Rick Perry does run, he will most likely win in a landslide. What is wrong with this state? Absolutely pathetic what is happening to our once great state. We are the tops in job growth now but in 20 years we are going to be a poor, uneducated, sad state due to our current policies.

  • J bennett

    I’m already beginning to say my prayers that the lord has a different plan for the gov…out of office and a better road for Texas!

  • Seven

    People still tan?

  • BeccaLyn

    1. Let us all hope that the good Lord has a different plan for him.

  • Sybil’ Beaver

    Tanning in Texas in the summer has always confused me. We have like 14 hrs of sun a day here that is more than willing to bake your skin, why pay to go have some heat lamps cancer your skin up that much faster.

    Ive grown tired of this Prime Prep, it looks like a scam, it smells like a scam….well you know the rest

    Gubner good hair, everything that can be said about him already has been.

  • JS

    If there really is a God, then Rick Perry will not be Governor for another term. Unless that God has a sense of humor. Then Rick will win the next election, God will high-five Chuck Norris, drain the rest of his Chard, and shoot lightning in the air.

  • David

    So I’m guessing the LewP bot is FB’s Siriesque counterpunch to the DO’s Livefyre comment implementation, right? Its fawning parameter seems like it could still use a little fine tuning, though.

  • @ David. Did you mean Sirlesque or did you mean Siri-Esque?

    I’m not a very bright guy, so before I answer, let me make sure I understand what your question is. Thanks, have a good day!

  • @David, oh, and let me disspell one of your assumptions already. The 6th word in your question indicates I’m a bot, which, if you click on the blue hyperlink @LewP, you will be taken magically to my personal blog, you can then go to the tab at the top labeled “About LewP” and there you can read all about me and my boring contributions to man-kind.

    I know, it’s not very exciting. It would probbably be more exciting and you could solve lots of questions if you just called me a bot.

  • GMOM

    Awsome Zac!
    1. Noooooooooooo, enough stupidity!! Aren’t there term limits for govs?
    2.Good, those little girls shouldn’t be in tanning salons anyway!
    3. Prime Prep sounds like a steak house name. Sounds fishy to me too.

  • Wes Mantooth

    Looks like it’s time to morph the Zac Crain Mayoral Campaign into the Zac Crain Gubernatorial Campaign.

  • Joy

    Or did you mean Suri-esque? http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/

  • B

    @David. I agree. The sychophancy is nauseating. I believe him that he is not a bot. Just a guy who is hoping to ingratiate himself with the ‘cool’ crowd of this blog.

  • @David Wow, I’m loving all this attention and all the cool new words I’m learning here today.

       [sik-uh-fuhnt, -fant, sahy-kuh-] Show IPA

    a self-seeking, servile flatterer; fawning parasite.

    See David, I’m addressing you so I don’t have to address, you know who with his comments. It’s sort of a cowardly approach, but it works for the general public. I really didn’t think people on the=is blog were “cool”, I just thought the people on this blog were sort of like me, just trying to comment on things and have a conversation. I sure didn’t intend for give and take communication to be nauseating. Perhaps that person needs to get out more….They say sunshine can get rid of tons of bacteria.

  • Lew’s Moustache

    I help to cancel out the bacteria-ridding properties of the sun (and tanning beds).

  • B

    Less the premature H, I stand by my words.

  • hahahaha @ Lew’s Moustache…..very good. And that’s now 18 comments…that’s a wrap! Good job peoples!!!!