Gordon Keith Takes His Tired Bits to Dallas Morning News

I have long maintained that Gordon Keith, he of Ticket fame, is the most overrated, pompous, bearded comedian in town. Several studies have shown that his column in Quick is what finally caused that publication to fold. But now the paper is letting him write op-eds. Today, Keith nominated the Barnett Shale for Texan of the Year. It’s behind the paywall, so here’s a taste:

I could nominate Dirk Nowitzki, the happiest German in D-FW. The Teutonic baller not only brought us an NBA title this year, but also the worst rendition of “We Are the Champions” in recorded human history. Musically, Dirk sounded exactly like Freddy Mercury, if Freddy Mercury were being water-boarded with a bullfrog lodged in his throat.

John Wiley Price could be nominated for bringing more law enforcement to our city. Unfortunately, it was to investigate him.

It is at this point that the stockholders of AH Belo Corp should begin dumping their shares.

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