Friday, April 19, 2024 Apr 19, 2024
70° F Dallas, TX

Gordon Keith Takes His Tired Bits to Dallas Morning News


I have long maintained that Gordon Keith, he of Ticket fame, is the most overrated, pompous, bearded comedian in town. Several studies have shown that his column in Quick is what finally caused that publication to fold. But now the paper is letting him write op-eds. Today, Keith nominated the Barnett Shale for Texan of the Year. It’s behind the paywall, so here’s a taste:

I could nominate Dirk Nowitzki, the happiest German in D-FW. The Teutonic baller not only brought us an NBA title this year, but also the worst rendition of “We Are the Champions” in recorded human history. Musically, Dirk sounded exactly like Freddy Mercury, if Freddy Mercury were being water-boarded with a bullfrog lodged in his throat.

John Wiley Price could be nominated for bringing more law enforcement to our city. Unfortunately, it was to investigate him.

It is at this point that the stockholders of AH Belo Corp should begin dumping their shares.

Related Articles

Home & Garden

A Look Into the Life of Bowie House’s Jo Ellard

Bowie House owner Jo Ellard has amassed an impressive assemblage of accolades and occupations. Her latest endeavor showcases another prized collection: her art.
Dallas History

D Magazine’s 50 Greatest Stories: Cullen Davis Finds God as the ‘Evangelical New Right’ Rises

The richest man to be tried for murder falls in with a new clique of ambitious Tarrant County evangelicals.
Home & Garden

The One Thing Bryan Yates Would Save in a Fire

We asked Bryan Yates of Yates Desygn: Aside from people and pictures, what’s the one thing you’d save in a fire?