Zach Schlodt to Jessica Simpson: You Ain’t Country

If there’s one person I trust about country music, it’s Zach Schlodt. He’s 19, he lives in Illinois, he … he’s a Schlodt. And he had this to say about Jessica Simpson’s performance at the Country Thunder festival in Wisconsin (her boyfriend’s home state, recall) over the weekend, where Simpson was both cheered and, occasionally, booed by the crowd:

“She’s an embarrassment to country music.”

Oh, snap, boyfriend! Now, as fun as it is to rip on Simpson, three points I’d like to make:

  1. Simpson’s first country single, Come On Over, isn’t that bad. Not my brand of vodka (the opening two lines are particularly cringe-worthy), but I can get it down. In fact, it’s better than about 80 percent of the horrible pop-fusion mess I hear on country radio and music television right now. (Now, I’m not saying she’s Hayes Carll, but who is?)
  2. Why is it that someone like Michelle Branch can grow up in Sedona, write pop hits, switch to a country group, and now back, and it’s okay? Oh, right: indie cred. You can do anything with that.
  3. “Country Thunder” is also the name of a buddy cop movie I have in development. Toby Keith and Katt Williams are attached.


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8 responses to “Zach Schlodt to Jessica Simpson: You Ain’t Country”

  1. Bethany says:

    Katt Williams – that’s the guy in Greatest American Hero, right?

  2. JB says:

    Didn’t she start out when she was in Dallas singing christian/gosple/country stuff? So in a way she’s kinda going back to her roots.

  3. Josh Pearson says:

    If she was truly going back to her roots – she’d be a brunette…

  4. JB says:

    Ha. I thought of that but, No. She is definitely a Blonde. I’ve heard all the jokes and Jessica Simpson seems to bet the poster girl. But only Tony really knows if the curtains match the rug?

  5. Bill says:

    I like how she paints herself as “growing up in the small Texas town of Richardson, where my daddy was the preacher of a small Baptist Church”.

    Since when is growing up in “The Reservation”(All those streets around Arapaho/Coit named after Injun tribes) a small town experience?

    Also heard how she claimed to be unpopular in high school(Pearce) yet somehow was Homecoming Queen. Go figure.

  6. amandacobra says:

    Ohhhh, what about the story she told about how they were so poor growing up that sometimes her momma would take her shopping at the Dillard’s at Richardson Square Mall for whatever sort of fashionable clothes the cool kids were wearing? She would then wear them to dances with the tags tucked in and return then for store credit or cash refunds and get a new outfit.

    We did a choir workshop together and to say that she was well-versed in self-promotion even back in 8th grade is putting it kindly.

  7. bill says:

    no, but she sure is busty.

  8. God love ya for mentioning Hayes Carll – I knew that downloading the free songs offered by iTunes would expand my horizons. Listening to Carl sing “She Left Me for Jesus” always makes me laugh (but wondering whether the same people who told Henley that “she got the Mercedes Bends” was wrong because he misspelled “Benz” will consider Carl’s music heretical).