It wasn’t difficult to gather volunteers for this taste test. 15 eager D Magazine staffers dug into a selection of pimento cheese from Dallas restaurants. Here’s what they had to say.
[Editor’s note: There were no pimento cheese experts on hand for this taste test.]
The cheese:
A. CBD Provisions
B. Remedy
C. The Porch
D. Sissy’s Southern Kitchen & Bar
E. Ida Claire
CBD Provisions
- Texture is thick, a little heavy. Spicy aftertaste.
- Classic.
- Smoky with a little kick at the end.
- Creamy with a spicy finish.
- Gross consistency similar to orange clay mold.
- Bold chipotle finish. Looks like cate puke.
- Nice kick at the end. Strong cheddar flavor. Smooth.
- Bland at first but sneakily spicy.
- Has a strange yet satisfying tang to it. I like it.
- Creamiest. Not a strong pimento flavor.
- Too creamy, I like the spice though. Needs other elements.
- Spicy!
- Nice and smooth, good spice to it.
- A good, smoky favor. Maybe too smooth consistency-wise.
- Rich flavor, perfect amount of spice. Very thick and creamy. Well blended.
Remedy
- Nice kick. Lighter texture than A.
- Nice flavor with fresh herbs.
- Super savory. Tastes like a fiesta. Basically pico de gallo with cheese. Not a fan.
- Pretty to look at. Bright, chunky, tasty.
- Real pimentos visible! Different cheeses. Could eat this whole tub.
- I like the colors in this one. Nicely balanced between the pepper and the cheese.
- Fresh tasting.
- Very peppery. I don’t hate it.
- Delicious! This has a smooth texture and a sweet, spicy aftertaste that lingers.
- Nice salt and garlic flavor. I like the chunkiness.
- Delish. Love the peppers. Good consistency.
- YUM. Love the crunchy peppers.
- Like the prominent peppery flavor of this one.
- Super onion-y. Almost too much. I like it but wouldn’t be able to eat much.
- Chunky with herbs. Somewhat light and refreshing flavor.
The Porch
- Meh. Don’t love this one.
- Tastes like feet.
- Ooh, really don’t like this one. The pepper flavor is too strong for me and it tastes sweet.
- Ugly burnt orange color. Looks like trouble. Bad spice, feels like little worms in my mouth. No thanks.
- Neon orange color looks like nuclear waste. Tastes mass-produced.
- This tastes like stale beer.
- Most processed flavor, but probably most classic.
- Spicy but not in a fun way. I feel like there’s nothing underneath this spice. Also, why is it so orange?
- I’m a texture person, so I wasn’t wild about this one. It looks like what I imagine uncultured clumps of orange milk would look like. The taste is OK.
- Smoky and spicy.
- Bland.
- Bland compared to the others.
- OK, a little bland compared to the others.
- Weird nuclear color. OK. Feels like something I would make with thrown-together ingredients rather than a plan. Kind of oily.
- Light spice, grated cheese texture.
Sissy’s Southern Kitchen & Bar
- Lighter than the others with a nice heat to it.
- This one has some heat to it. Me likey!
- Chunky with peppers and wow! What a kick! But it’s not pimento cheese for me. Those green chilis take over.
- Smells like ranch dressing. Crunchy, tangy, and bad. Spicy, but feels like coleslaw.
- Hot and spicy. Thick with chunks. Maybe too many peppers.
- Brighter than the rest. Much more acidic. Heat lingers.
- WAY too much mayo. Spice overpowers cheese flavor.
- It looks so beautiful. It’s spicy in a fun way. I could eat this without accompanying carbs.
- This is awesome. The pepper lingers on your lips.
- I HATE this one. Lots of mayo.
- Good flavor but a bit too chunky.
- Find this one strangely watery tasting.
- Good taste and texture. Leaning towards too pickle-y, but I like that.
- Very spicy with chunks. Medium thickness.
Ida Claire
- Very creamy.
- A little too creamy for my taste.
- Smoky, creamy, celery flavor. Those black specks are a little weird, but I like this one. I can easily imagine spreading it on crackers.
- Too creamy and whipped looking. Smells like rust and grass. This is crap.
- Looks and tastes like the cat vomit of a cat who ate a jar of cheap mayonnaise.
- God no. Is this celery?
- Worst.
- It’s kind of coleslaw-esque. I’d still eat it.
- This is interesting. It has a smoky flavor.
- Even worse than D. This is probably 90% mayo, 5% cheese, 5% pimento. Gross.
- Gross. Tastes like mayonnaise.
- Too creamy. I wouldn’t recognize this as pimento cheese on a plate.
- Not a fan of the creamy texture of this one.
- Was this potato salad? Fine, but not like pimento cheese at all.
- Very creamy. Tastes like it has sour cream in it?
Tally up:
CBD Provisions 2
Remedy 11
The Porch 0
Sissy’s Southern Kitchen & Bar 2
Ida Claire 0
The winner is:
Remedy’s pimento cheese won the taste test by a landslide with 11 votes. Do you agree with the outcome? Who makes your favorite pimento cheese in Dallas? Let’s discuss.
