Taste Test Thursdays

Taste Test Thursday: Restaurant Pimento Cheese

Which savory blend is the best according to D Magazine staff?

It wasn’t difficult to gather volunteers for this taste test. 15 eager D Magazine staffers dug into a selection of pimento cheese from Dallas restaurants. Here’s what they had to say.

[Editor’s note: There were no pimento cheese experts on hand for this taste test.]

The cheese:
A. CBD Provisions
B. Remedy
C. The Porch
D. Sissy’s Southern Kitchen & Bar
E. Ida Claire

CBD ProvisionsIMG_0041

  • Texture is thick, a little heavy. Spicy aftertaste.
  • Classic.
  • Smoky with a little kick at the end.
  • Creamy with a spicy finish.
  • Gross consistency similar to orange clay mold.
  •  Bold chipotle finish. Looks like cate puke.
  • Nice kick at the end. Strong cheddar flavor. Smooth.
  • Bland at first but sneakily spicy.
  • Has a strange yet satisfying tang to it. I like it.
  • Creamiest. Not a strong pimento flavor.
  • Too creamy, I like the spice though. Needs other elements.
  • Spicy!
  • Nice and smooth, good spice to it.
  • A good, smoky favor. Maybe too smooth consistency-wise.
  • Rich flavor, perfect amount of spice. Very thick and creamy. Well blended.


  • Nice kick. Lighter texture than A.
  • Nice flavor with fresh herbs.
  • Super savory. Tastes like a fiesta. Basically pico de gallo with cheese. Not a fan.
  • Pretty to look at. Bright, chunky, tasty.
  • Real pimentos visible! Different cheeses. Could eat this whole tub.
  • I like the colors in this one. Nicely balanced between the pepper and the cheese.
  • Fresh tasting.
  • Very peppery. I don’t hate it.
  • Delicious! This has a smooth texture and a sweet, spicy aftertaste that lingers.
  • Nice salt and garlic flavor. I like the chunkiness.
  • Delish. Love the peppers. Good consistency.
  • YUM. Love the crunchy peppers.
  • Like the prominent peppery flavor of this one.
  • Super onion-y. Almost too much. I like it but wouldn’t be able to eat much.
  • Chunky with herbs. Somewhat light and refreshing flavor.

The PorchIMG_0057 copy

  • Meh. Don’t love this one.
  • Tastes like feet.
  • Ooh, really don’t like this one. The pepper flavor is too strong for me and it tastes sweet.
  • Ugly burnt orange color. Looks like trouble. Bad spice, feels like little worms in my mouth. No thanks.
  • Neon orange color looks like nuclear waste. Tastes mass-produced.
  • This tastes like stale beer.
  • Most processed flavor, but probably most classic.
  • Spicy but not in a fun way. I feel like there’s nothing underneath this spice. Also, why is it so orange?
  • I’m a texture person, so I wasn’t wild about this one. It looks like what I imagine uncultured clumps of orange milk would look like. The taste is OK.
  • Smoky and spicy.
  • Bland.
  • Bland compared to the others.
  • OK, a little bland compared to the others.
  • Weird nuclear color. OK. Feels like something I would make with thrown-together ingredients rather than a plan. Kind of oily.
  • Light spice, grated cheese texture.

Sissy’s Southern Kitchen & BarIMG_0067 copy

  • Lighter than the others with a nice heat to it.
  • This one has some heat to it. Me likey!
  • Chunky with peppers and wow! What a kick! But it’s not pimento cheese for me. Those green chilis take over.
  • Smells like ranch dressing. Crunchy, tangy, and bad. Spicy, but feels like coleslaw.
  • Hot and spicy. Thick with chunks. Maybe too many peppers.
  • Brighter than the rest. Much more acidic. Heat lingers.
  • WAY too much mayo. Spice overpowers cheese flavor.
  • It looks so beautiful. It’s spicy in a fun way. I could eat this without accompanying carbs.
  • This is awesome. The pepper lingers on your lips.
  • I HATE this one. Lots of mayo.
  • Good flavor but a bit too chunky.
  • Find this one strangely watery tasting.
  • Good taste and texture. Leaning towards too pickle-y, but I like that.
  • Very spicy with chunks. Medium thickness.

Ida ClaireIMG_0069 copy

  • Very creamy.
  • A little too creamy for my taste.
  • Smoky, creamy, celery flavor. Those black specks are a little weird, but I like this one. I can easily imagine spreading it on crackers.
  • Too creamy and whipped looking. Smells like rust and grass. This is crap.
  • Looks and tastes like the cat vomit of a cat who ate a jar of cheap mayonnaise.
  • God no. Is this celery?
  • Worst.
  • It’s kind of coleslaw-esque. I’d still eat it.
  • This is interesting. It has a smoky flavor.
  • Even worse than D. This is probably 90% mayo, 5% cheese, 5% pimento. Gross.
  • Gross. Tastes like mayonnaise.
  • Too creamy. I wouldn’t recognize this as pimento cheese on a plate.
  • Not a fan of the creamy texture of this one.
  • Was this potato salad? Fine, but not like pimento cheese at all.
  • Very creamy. Tastes like it has sour cream in it?

Tally up:

CBD Provisions 2
Remedy 11
The Porch 0
Sissy’s Southern Kitchen & Bar 2
Ida Claire 0

The winner is:

Remedy’s pimento cheese won the taste test by a landslide with 11 votes. Do you agree with the outcome? Who makes your favorite pimento cheese in Dallas? Let’s discuss.


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