Eat This Now: The Barnyard Freak at Off-Site Kitchen

Secret Dining Tip: The Barnyard Freak is no longer on the menu at Off-Site Kitchen. We tell you how to get it.

I am tired of trying to be nice to you. Maybe I’m just channeling my inner Jack Perkins, but in reality I am not that cool. I still wear white socks, I eat push-pops, and I watch Veronica Mars…a lot. Okay, back to not being nice to you while actually sharing a marvelous secret with you that will change your planet alignment. There is a nothing not awesome at Off-Site Kitchen. We know this. Well, they removed a super sexy item from the menu, and I actually find that not so awesome. But you can still get it, so chill. Had it not been for a better informed lunch amigo, I would have never discovered the Barnyard Freak at Off-Site Kitchen. It’s kind of like Lenny Small meets Dita Von Teese mixed with a dash of Travis Bickle and Thor. You have to ask for it by name and hope someone in the kitchen knows how to make it.

It’s a combination sandwich of their three meats—the pork shoulder roast, 48-hour cracked pepper brisket, and the corned beef. Each sits in its own section on their Village Baking Company long roll next to, underneath, and on top of everything that comes with them. What’s everything that comes with them, you ask? That would be the onions, pickles, Carolina slaw, more onions, lettuce, Swiss, tomato, cherry pepper mayo, cherry pepper kraut, and 57 thousand slaw.

It’s a mouthful in all the best ways. You’ve been informed.