It’s “Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day.” Insert Heavy Sigh.

The drought and soul-killing temperatures have done a number on my zucchini this year. The lush, ground-hugging vines that should have taken over my entire plot by now, look like dead snakes that tried to cross a desert highway. You, too? In years past, I’ve had such a viney bounty that I’ve used this holiday to not only unload my stash, but commit notable acts of agricultural mischief. There were the brown bags on doorsteps, the twine-tied bundles in mailboxes, the Jenga-stacked sculptures, and, of course, the zucchini I hung individually from my neighbor’s tree. The fun was in convincing their kids that they were alien fruit pods that could explode at any moment.

Memories. Like the corners of my mind…

To distract myself, I’m looking ahead and thinking about creating some new arcane traditions. Here’s the list of upcoming unusual holidays. Some have to do with food, but not all. And I left out the boring ones. Any ideas for ways to commemorate?

10 Lazy Day

10 National S’mores Day

10 Vinyl Record Day

12 Middle Child Day

14 National Creamsicle Day

17 National Thriftshop Day

18 Bad Poetry Day

21 Spumoni Day

23 Ride the Wind Day

24 Vesuvius Day

24 National Waffle Day

25 Kiss and Make Up Day

26 National Dog Day (hot or furry)

30 Frankenstein Day

30 Toasted Marshmallow Day

31 National Trail Mix Day