WHY THE TASTING WASN’T FAIR…

First of all, several of the judges actually said they liked the Mango ice cream, a neon orange concoction that was stringy. Mangoes are like Cleveland and the Texas Rangers. Mangoes are a joke. Before you can eat one you have to undress, put on rubber gloves and take the mango into the bathtub to peel it. And then you get a mouthful of flavor that can only be likened to peaches that have spent the night in kerosene. How can you respect the opinion of an ice cream judge who likes kerosene-flavored peaches? Or who cleanses his palate by eating a pretzel? That kind of person would eat M & Ms with his beer.

And then there was the chocolate-orange-mocha-fruit abomination from Washington. Jelly-bean ice cream would have tasted better. When we made our exhaustive search for Dallas’ best ice cream, we stuck to basics, searching for a Vanilla that was honest and forthright, a Vanilla that was foursquare. For our other variety, we stayed away from all those pink-flamingo flavors. No neon “ices” or pastel “gelatos.”

First, we called around to see who made their own ice cream. Surprisingly, few Dallas establishments do. Holy Cow, the ultimate Dallas dessertia, uses BlueBell. Frozen Fantasees uses BlueBell and Arthur’s. Arthur’s uses Arthur’s. Several places, in fact, serve Arthur’s ice cream, which is good but not outstanding.

The kitchen at the Adolphus Hotel makes its own ice cream for its restaurants. Again, it was good but not exciting. We ventured north to Sakowitz Village for a new entry, Kaiser’s, but it turned out to be made in Oklahoma, so it was eliminated.

Finally we found Neuhaus in North-Park. Owner Mervyn Sacher started making ice cream when he opened his shop two years ago, after training with the manufacturers of his Italian ice cream machine. His product is turned in a drum, similar to a hand-cranked maker, and is ladled out with a wooden paddle to eliminate any metallic taste.

Sacher’s business has doubled in the two years since he started. He doesn’t make more than 60 gallons because his space is limited. His cooler is generally filled with eight flavors: Chocolate Chip (with Neu-haus Belgian chocolate), Coffee, Rum Raisin, Vanilla, Coconut, Dutch Chocolate, a fresh fruit variety and a nut flavor. The fruit is made from whatever is in season: Lemon, Peach, Orange, Banana, Strawberry, etc., and the nut is either Butter Pecan or Burnt Almond. Though the biggest seller is Chocolate Chip, we like the Burnt Almond for its smooth almond flavor and its crunch. Our second choice is the fruit of the season -Strawberry or Peach preferred. (Mangoes, of course, should be shot when in season.)

We can only attribute our not winning to a California/Northeast bias toward “flash” and to judicial ignorance. 1 didn’t want to say anything about it, but one of the California flavors -I think it was Hot Tub Avocado -actually made a noise when I tasted it. Besides, having one of the Top 10 ice creams in the country isn’t so bad.