Boob Tube

We surprise even ourselves with the depths of our depravity and sexism. Truly shocking stuff. But it cannot be ignored that the local television newscasts are lousy with babes. Every channel we turn to, another looker.

Click. Saucy momma. Click. Hot betty. Click. Swell dame. Click. Ripe tomato. Click. Oof, Newy Scruggs. Click.

So with the recent ship-jumping of the comely sportslass Gina Miller from ABC Channel 8 to CBS Channel 11, we thought we’d break it down for you and determine which station has the most talent. We picked three dolls each from the four big networks (sorry, WB and UPN) and saw how they stacked up to each other. The methodology we used in selecting the skirts is too elaborate to detail here. Just know that we agonized over the process, and if we’d had more space, we would’ve happily objectified them all.

Chins up, ladies. Shoulders back. We love each and every one of you.

This magazine has a marketing relationship with CBS Channel 11, but that in no way affected our judgment. Honest.