Richard P. Sheridan, the nutjob who finished fourth in Saturday’s election for the District 13 seat on the Dallas City Council, is mad at me. To hear him tell it, it’s because I didn’t do enough to inform the voters that Leland Burk, who finished second to Jennifer Staubach Gates, is gay. But I think it also has something to do with the fact that all I said about Sheridan in my election preview for Preston Hollow People is that he is best known for being physically removed from public meetings after exceeding the time limits for speakers. Or maybe Sheridan is just mad in general because he received only 28 votes (0.27 percent), two years after he somehow backed into 1,054 of them (10.56 percent). Heck, a teenager did better than him this time around; 18-year-old Jacob King garnered 77 votes, and Sheridan vowed to stop running for office if King’s total exceeded his.
Whatever. The reasons don’t matter. You can’t try to apply logic to the raving lunatic who left me a voicemail at 9:24 on Saturday night in which he called me a coward six times, a “[see you next Tuesday]” five times, a “mother[lover]” four times, a bitch twice, “a disgrace to our city” once, and “a sorry ass” once. In the middle of all that, he also said, “I don’t think you have one testicle, sir.” (He’s wrong about that last point, but I appreciate him calling me “sir.”)
Well, Richard (or should I call you Dick? Yeah, I should), all I can say in response, Dick, is your talk is cheap; you’re not a man. The word is out, you’re doing wrong; gonna lock you up before too long. I’m telling you, just watch your mouth; I know your game, what you’re about. What I’m trying to say is, I’m bad. (And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again.)
UPDATE: Listen to the full, NSFW voicemail here.