Kameron, Kary and Stephanie Bravo

Television

The Real Housewives of Dallas Recap: Steam Queens

Less fun than a flesh eating bacteria.

Between the weird dinosaur analogy, the Hansel and Gretel analogy, and the reminder of a breast eating bacteria (how could I have forgotten?), I noticed something last night. “The Real Housewives of Dallas” isn’t quite as new as it’s always felt, and that’s good! The friendships have ebbed and flowed. Women have grown and evolved. Women like Brandi, who once seemed irrationally erratic (and is still wearing a variety of rainbow-hued hats), exhibited the most mature, level-headed behavior last night when apologizing to a variety of people whom I’m not sure she needed to apologize to.

And then there’s Stephanie, originally so guarded, now openly crying while analyzing the shame she feels being back on antidepressants and coining the hashtag #pubesisters. And Kam! Having a little fun with a very G-rated prank and straight rollicking in the ocean with a woman she once called trash. This is the first girls’ trip this group has gone on that feels like an actual girls’ trip. The kind where you genuinely bond, grow, and get over preconceived notions you might have had of your travel companions. This is also one of the first episodes I felt like this cast finally gelled.

All except for LeeAnne, who is having the hardest time by far in Careyes. The other women are handling their issues with rational and mostly successful confrontations, and LeeAnne… isn’t. She’s inserting herself in arguments where she doesn’t belong. (“Imma let you finish, but I want you to know that she feels bad.” LeeAnne, no.) She’s isolating herself from people who are genuinely trying to include her (although when you don’t feel like a sauna, you do not feel like a muddy, womb sauna). She also desperately needs a good hair oil and I highly recommend Sisley Paris for that.

But maybe it’s LeeAnne, railing against the group’s general desire to bond, that helps to bring everyone else closer. At a cool bonfire dinner, Kary, D’Andra, and Stephanie all commend Kameron on being fun. To which Kam says, “I’ve always been fun, but I haven’t really had the chance to be fun with you guys, because I don’t think some of you guys have tried to get to know me.”

Just like Stephanie and Brandi had to find their own identities as friends over their seasons, Kameron seems to finally be stepping out from LeeAnne’s shadow. (She’s also still unfairly judging Brandi, potentially for reasons that do not make her look good, but there could be some progress there.) LeeAnne absolutely confounds me most of the time, but damnit if she’s not thing holding this franchise together. At one point she tells Brandi, “That’s your f***ing opinion!”, which is the perfect bookend to this iconic Bravo quote.

I’m thinking way too hard about this show, which is really not how we’re supposed to be watching. We’re supposed to have fun watching Kameron comically try to fit her lanky body through a tiny hole for the Temazcal Ceremony (which sounds like it should have been a lot scarier), or Brandi distracting everyone with shots so that a hairdryer could be filled with flour (G-rated fun!). I personally enjoyed Stephanie’s T-Rex hands, and someone blissfully eating Mexican spaghetti while everyone else discussed pubic hair. D’Andra was there too!

Anyway, I’m excited for this group to get out of Mexico (will miss that house though), where every scene dealt with one confrontation or another. Here’s to lighter times and a very elaborate circus-themed lingerie shower at 1pm next week!

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