GET．A．JOB

ONE OF THE most remarkable moments in the long history of work took place in the Massachusetts darkness one evening in 1962. Ted Kennedy, making his first run for the U.S. Senate, was standing ankle deep in slush, glad-handing workers who had just completed a shift at a textile factor)’ in Pittsfield. A prototypical old New Englander, the kind you see pictured on sardine cans, approached the young candidate and presented an interesting ques-ion. “Mr. Kennedy.” the man asked, “have you ever done what amounts to an honest day’s work in your life?”

Kennedy thought that one over for a moment and came up with a candid answer. “No,” he said.

“Well, you haven’t missed a hell of a lot,” the old-timer responded. Then, like the Masked Man, he disappeared into the night before anyone had a chance to thank him for neatly defining the universal human predicament. He said it for us all. for the May graduate ready to start scaling the corporate ladder and the grizzled veteran of the workaday world. Face it. When the clock radio jolts you out of a state of peaceful nonexistence at 6 a.m. or whatever, you’d rather retreat back into the Fellini-esque dreamworld than face the day. And why not? After all, if the work ethic is all it’s cracked up to be, why are there fourteen miles of fabulous job opportunities back there in the classifieds of your bigtime metropolitan dailies?

“Phlebotomist Needed, ASAP. Part-time positions available for personable, self-motivated individuals. Car & geriatric experience a must. Competitive salary based on expr.”

Say what?

“RN-Psychiatric-Applications are now being accepted for staff nurse to adult male unit on 3-11 shift. All nurses enjoy a professional atmosphere, personal growth through our continuing education program.

Yeah. Right. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work on the bulldog shift at the puzzle garden.

Oh, here’s a good one. “Petroleum Engineer-Medium-size, privately owned independent Oil and Gas Co. requires a Petroleum Engineer to replace Sr. Engineer retiring. . .” etc., etc.

Uh-huh. Why not tell the Utah? The senior engineer, having noticed that the price of oil is now a nickel a barrel, decided to enter a more promising field. Like lap dancing or glass blowing.

The irony is that each of these positions will be filled with individuals delighted to face the “challenge.” These persons fall into the category” known as the Rare Breed, nine of whom we’ve assembled on these pages. Pity them, envy them, or just gape at them, but know one thing: these people, of sound mind and body, actually enjoy what they do.

Tim Daniels



If there is any body in Dallas who is “well sooted” for his job. it’s Daniels, who services a variety of Dallas res-taurants where it’s responsibility to clean the grease trap. This involves removing the grease fillers and climbing into narrow ducts. usually two feet by two feet, will a variety of exotic brushes, hose. and oven-cleaning chemicals. When he finishes, the grease trap is glemn-ing and clean enough for performing; heart surgery. but Daniels looks as though he just stumbled out of an explosion in a barbecue pit.

“It’s a dirty. nasty job, but I like it. says Daniels. who works for Cesco Power Cleaning. After a hard day at the office. he showers down with Co Jo. an industrial soap. and takes about a half hour to wash his hair. His big-gest challene is the grease trap at IIamby’s Restaurant in the ARCO Tower. a four-by-five–foot duct that’s forty stories high.

Dr. Bonnie Rapha



Bonnie has just completed a rectal examination of a rhinoceros. And how did the rhino respond? “Oh, very placidly, actually,” says Raphael. “She just stood there, munching on a carrot.” All of this might be considered stylishly kinky at certain New York bistros, but Raphael does it for a living as head veterinarian at the Marsallis Park Zoo.

For Raphael, the job brings a variety of exotic challenges, largely reptilian. The Dallas Zoo has one of the most prestigious snake collections in the United Slates, so she often can be found treating a black mamba for pneumonia or a king cobra who is cranky because of an impacted wisdom fang. “Professionals coerce the snakes into these plastic tubes, so there is no danger to me,” she says.

Raphael regards her job as the best in Dallas.

Paul Camp



When aircraft come home to rest in pieces, they generally find their way to the Lancaster wrecking yard of Paul Camp, one of the nation’s top aircraft crash investigators. If a crop-duster makes its final descent onto your patio, Camp will probably be there one step ahead of the lawyers to haul off the wreckage. Camp’s findings are vital to the Federal Aviation Administration and the National Transportation Safety Board, not to mention insurance companies. 1985 was a particularly busy year for him. The debris from 111 crashes found its way to his aviation graveyard, including the wreckage of Delta Flight 191 and Rick Nelson’s DC-3. The Nelson tragedy still puzzles Camp: “The fire in the rear of the aircraft might have been caused by the healer or by freebasing. We’ll probably never know. The pilots themselves didn’t know. They didn’t think it was serious and all of a sudden it was serious as hell.”

Holly Mentl



The demands of Holly Mentler’s itinerary are staggering. One week, she hits the Rattlesnake Round-Up in Sweetwater. Then us a one-on-one Nerf Ball tourniament held in conjunction with the NCAA Final Four at Reunion Arena before she ventures on to the Polka Festival in Ennis.

Wherever there is a crowd. Mentler will be there, making certain that Budweiser beer and other products of the Anheuser Busch people are available to the legions of the thirsty.

As marketing director for Ben E. Keith Beers, local distributor for Anheuser Busch. she travels to special events and sets up hospitality areas for VIPs and assorted other fortunate freeloaders, such as the gentlemen and ladies of the press.

Mentler also gives talks on moderation in conjunction with Anheuser Busch alcohol awareness programs.

Dr. Leonard Seelig



There may be still another Nobel Prize in store for the UT Health Science Center. Since the mid-Seventies, the scientists on Harry Hines have been operating a mouse-milking machine. The device consists of a little suction apparatus equipped with a glass tube (hat attaches to the twelve “ports” on the female mouse.

“We can get one to three millimeters of milk from most mice,” says Seelig, who analyzes the milk in conjunction with studies involving cellular research in the field of fetal immunol ogy, Seelig. who has also milked a possum in the course of his research, doesn’t see anything unique about the procedure, “If you can milk a cow, you can milk a mouse,” he says, adding that “we like to use rats and mice because they’re cheaper to obtain and because we can control their genetics.”

Ronnie Slagle



It all started when Ronnie’s brother, an electrical contractor, secured a job with the Hyatt Regency Hotel in 1978. Ronnie worked for his brother, which is never the best of situations. “Well, that was a big contract, and sometimes you have to do some unusual things to keep it” says Slagle, rationalizing away the memory of the afternoon when his brother came to him and casually explained that it would be his job to change the light-bulbs outside the big ball at Reunion Tower.

“I can see how persons with a fear of heights would think that’s a bad job,” says Slagle.

Slagle gets to get high on the job about every other month, when, armed with a master diagram of the bulbs to be replaced, he crawls through a hatch atop the ball and proceeds to play Spiderman. He’s attached to a harness hooked to a nylon rope. “Aw. you hear all that ’don’t look down stuff,” says Slagle. “’The view, to me. is the best part of it.”

Tatu



In the world of indoor soccer, Tatu, who also answers to Antonio Carlos Pecorari, is the main man. The young Brazilian came up with a nice gimmick last year while playing in virtual anonymily for the Dallas Sidekicks at Reunion Arena: whenever he scored a goal, he’d pull his shirt off and fling it into the stands. As a result, Tatu has, with the possible exception of the Von Erich clan, the most adoring female following of any sports figure in Dallas. How did he arrive at the inspired idea of taking off his shir to ignite the passions of the audience?

“Well, it came to me one night when I was watching Joan Collins on “Dynasty,’” he says.

Carnell Dawson



“Can you call me back? I’ve got a body to work on,’” says Carnell Dawson, sixty. That might seem to suggest wonderful possibilities, but keep in mind that Dawson works for the UT Health Science Center.

Of course, it’s become a well-known fact of modern medicine (hat when the soul leaves the human body, there’s plenty of salvageable material left behind. And someone has to salvage it. Dawson’s specially is in the bone and cartilage held. He provides the intricately cut and ground pieces of human remains that can be fit, jigsaw-puzzle style, into persons who are undergoing orthopedic surgery. Dawson spends his days behind a tool similar to a diamond cutter, carefully chiseling minute bone parts down to microscopically correct dimensions.

“I was involved in animal research, but I took this job to gel off the night shift,” he says.

Charles Baker



Bill Gilliland. who operales a rare book store in Dallas, was prowling through the shelves that contain one of the best collections of classic first editions in Dallas. Mis shop, called Booked Up, is located in what was once an old home in Oak Lawn.

Gilliland was just about to concede that he has the best job in Dallas-until he thought of someone with something better. “Charles Baker That’s it. He’s my assistant here. I have to do some accounting and paperwork occasionally. Charles doesn’t do a damn thing.” Gilliland said. Baker disagreed, but only lightly. “Sometimes I have to fix the coffee in the mornings.” he says. “But mostly, this is extremely gratifying. I love fine literature, and all I really do is talk books with cus-tomers and sip Perrter.”