The Twelve Days of Christmas

Want to outdo the legendary generosity of the lover in the song? Here’s how . . . if you’ve got at least $32,000 to spare.

A Partridge in a Pear Tree.

Partridges may be a popular symbol of the holiday spirit, but the plump little birds are just not that easy to find, especially ones perched in a pear tree. We finally traced down a covey roosting in Hegins, Pennsylvania at L & L Pheas-antry, (717) 682-9437. $8.40 will have a brace of one-pound frozen chukkars winging their way to Texas in time for the first day of Christmas. Serve them Austrian style with mushrooms over rice, in a Russian dish of oranges and grapes, or chilled in a lemon jelly sauce from France.

L & L will ship live fowl as well, but you’ll still need a pear tree. North Haven Gardens at 9150 Forest Lane has a number of varieties including Keiffer, Bartlett and Bradford, all in regular and dwarf sizes. A 5-6 foot Keiffer in a 15-gallon container will run about $36 and makes a great start for that orchard out back. Sunshine, rich soil and lots of love is all your tree will require for a long and fruitful career. If you don’t have a yard but still need a place to stash your partridge, the city can come to the rescue. Three or four native pears are happily rooted in Dealey Annex, a short strip of green just west of downtown.

A Partridge in a Pear Tree.

Partridges may be a popular symbol of the holiday spirit, but the plump little birds are just not that easy to find, especially ones perched in a pear tree. We finally traced down a covey roosting in Hegins, Pennsylvania at L & L Pheas-antry, (717) 682-9437. $8.40 will have a brace of one-pound frozen chukkars winging their way to Texas in time for the first day of Christmas. Serve them Austrian style with mushrooms over rice, in a Russian dish of oranges and grapes, or chilled in a lemon jelly sauce from France.

L & L will ship live fowl as well, but you’ll still need a pear tree. North Haven Gardens at 9150 Forest Lane has a number of varieties including Keiffer, Bartlett and Bradford, all in regular and dwarf sizes. A 5-6 foot Keiffer in a 15-gallon container will run about $36 and makes a great start for that orchard out back. Sunshine, rich soil and lots of love is all your tree will require for a long and fruitful career. If you don’t have a yard but still need a place to stash your partridge, the city can come to the rescue. Three or four native pears are happily rooted in Dealey Annex, a short strip of green just west of downtown.

Two Turtle Doves.

“Two Streptopelia turtur” never quite made it as a verse, but “two turtle doves” really caught on. Fain Nix, the Bird Lady of Arlington, sells this European variety as well as the white ring neck and diamond dove, for $20-$30 a pair. Her aviary contains over a thousand birds for sale or rent, from the Eclectus parrot to the rose-breast cockatoo. In fact, word of beak has spread so far that her mid-cities bird base now serves as an unofficial sanctuary for the winter vacation crowd.

But cooing and cawing can be a lot less peaceful than they seem. For those not up to so much mourning in their morning, discover an ornithologist of a different feather: Flocks of flighty creatures in porcelain, crystal and marble have flown in from abroad and lit on the shelves of Accessories a la Carte in NorthPark. Doves by Lefton ($58), geese by Lladro ($85) and swans by Schmidt ($35) are all parts of this avian glass menagerie, not to mention the warblers, grossbeaks and pelicans. At least these birds won’t keep you awake.

Two Turtle Doves.

“Two Streptopelia turtur” never quite made it as a verse, but “two turtle doves” really caught on. Fain Nix, the Bird Lady of Arlington, sells this European variety as well as the white ring neck and diamond dove, for $20-$30 a pair. Her aviary contains over a thousand birds for sale or rent, from the Eclectus parrot to the rose-breast cockatoo. In fact, word of beak has spread so far that her mid-cities bird base now serves as an unofficial sanctuary for the winter vacation crowd.

But cooing and cawing can be a lot less peaceful than they seem. For those not up to so much mourning in their morning, discover an ornithologist of a different feather: Flocks of flighty creatures in porcelain, crystal and marble have flown in from abroad and lit on the shelves of Accessories a la Carte in NorthPark. Doves by Lefton ($58), geese by Lladro ($85) and swans by Schmidt ($35) are all parts of this avian glass menagerie, not to mention the warblers, grossbeaks and pelicans. At least these birds won’t keep you awake.

Three French Hens.

Unable to find a hen clucking with a French accent, we turned to a French chef instead. Adolf Mollinapi of Old Warsaw highly recommends his Rock Cornish Hen Véronique, a roast bird with a grape and cassis sauce. (The Hen Grille a I’Orange is equally impressive.) Begin the evening with hors d’oeuvres from the cart followed by Vichyssoise Glacée. Experience a bottle of Le Montrachet “62 with the dinner and crown the occasion with Cafe Pierre and Cerises Jubilé. Voilà: French hens for $80 a couple.

One alternative is to present your truelove with the means to stitch awa the hours while awaiting the next ship ment of goodies. For Today and Tomo| row in European Crossroads markets two different needlepoint series on the Twelve Days of Christmas. Or commis sion a custom-designed French hen pattern on a stocking, pillow or chicken| shaped cushion. Three hand-painted, full-sized stockings with yarn would require $150 and quite a bit of time.

Three French Hens.

Unable to find a hen clucking with a French accent, we turned to a French chef instead. Adolf Mollinapi of Old Warsaw highly recommends his Rock Cornish Hen Véronique, a roast bird with a grape and cassis sauce. (The Hen Grille a I’Orange is equally impressive.) Begin the evening with hors d’oeuvres from the cart followed by Vichyssoise Glacée. Experience a bottle of Le Montrachet “62 with the dinner and crown the occasion with Cafe Pierre and Cerises Jubilé. Voilà: French hens for $80 a couple.

One alternative is to present your truelove with the means to stitch awa the hours while awaiting the next ship ment of goodies. For Today and Tomo| row in European Crossroads markets two different needlepoint series on the Twelve Days of Christmas. Or commis sion a custom-designed French hen pattern on a stocking, pillow or chicken| shaped cushion. Three hand-painted, full-sized stockings with yarn would require $150 and quite a bit of time.

Four Calling Birds.

Calling, talking, singing, squawking -the resident birds at Preston Center Pet Shop will repeat just about anything you say and maybe a few things you wish you hadn’t said. The African Gray parrot is an excellent talker; buy one and ask him why he costs $750. Conversation comes cheaper with a Blue-front Amazon ($300), pied cockatiel ($150) or a red and green Christmas love bird ($45). For that dangerous television fanatic in your family, Preston Center will special order a real live Baretta-bird. The Greater Sulfa Crested cockatoo is a majestic creature for an equally majestic $2000.

But why stop there? For another thousand dollars, the Magic Music Box in European Crossroads will fill your home with a chorus of chirps and twitters sustained on a diet of quarters. The Swiss craftsmen of Reuge Music have created a golden cage, adorned with flowers, holding three colorful birdies. Drop a coin in the machine and the little fellows click their beaks, flap their wings and chortle a melodious tune through a bellows and slide-whistle apparatus. $450 will complete the musical quartet with a singing bird box from Germany.

Four Calling Birds.

Calling, talking, singing, squawking -the resident birds at Preston Center Pet Shop will repeat just about anything you say and maybe a few things you wish you hadn’t said. The African Gray parrot is an excellent talker; buy one and ask him why he costs $750. Conversation comes cheaper with a Blue-front Amazon ($300), pied cockatiel ($150) or a red and green Christmas love bird ($45). For that dangerous television fanatic in your family, Preston Center will special order a real live Baretta-bird. The Greater Sulfa Crested cockatoo is a majestic creature for an equally majestic $2000.

But why stop there? For another thousand dollars, the Magic Music Box in European Crossroads will fill your home with a chorus of chirps and twitters sustained on a diet of quarters. The Swiss craftsmen of Reuge Music have created a golden cage, adorned with flowers, holding three colorful birdies. Drop a coin in the machine and the little fellows click their beaks, flap their wings and chortle a melodious tune through a bellows and slide-whistle apparatus. $450 will complete the musical quartet with a singing bird box from Germany.

Five Golden Rings.

Where does it say golden rings have to be made of gold? Goodies from Goodman in Preston Center stocks enough sweet little circles to go around for the entire year. Try the golden glace apples, cored and sliced at $3.90 a pound. A lemon pound cake ring for $5.25 will easily suffice for five. But the most tempting gilted roundlet is Ann King’s garlic and cheese Monkey Bread, $1.75 a pound. Bake the dough upside down and melted butter bubbles up and over the sides.

For the traditionalist, Diamonds and Rust in Snider Plaza has a 14-karat proposition. Pat Parton suggests several thin strips of gold delicately intertwined with precious stones in a custom-designed pattern. Rings start around $200, but use a little imagination and a carcanet, torque or tiara will do just as well.

Five Golden Rings.

Where does it say golden rings have to be made of gold? Goodies from Goodman in Preston Center stocks enough sweet little circles to go around for the entire year. Try the golden glace apples, cored and sliced at $3.90 a pound. A lemon pound cake ring for $5.25 will easily suffice for five. But the most tempting gilted roundlet is Ann King’s garlic and cheese Monkey Bread, $1.75 a pound. Bake the dough upside down and melted butter bubbles up and over the sides.

For the traditionalist, Diamonds and Rust in Snider Plaza has a 14-karat proposition. Pat Parton suggests several thin strips of gold delicately intertwined with precious stones in a custom-designed pattern. Rings start around $200, but use a little imagination and a carcanet, torque or tiara will do just as well.

Six Geese-a-laying.

The Christmas turkey may have gobble-gobbled for the last time. Among the imported sweets, homemade breads and German sausages at Kuby’s Delicatessen in Snider Plaza is a selection of plump and juicy geese that would have made Aunt Rhody proud. Figure at least $20 for a nice 10-12 pounder, or take a gander at the other game birds available like Rock Cornish Hen, quail or duckling. For fancier tastes there’s even a prepared Chicken Kiev.

Since these geese are supposed to be a-laying, we’re obviously dealing with motherhood. The Mother Goose is amply remembered in no fewer than five editions of her much-loved folklore at the Neiman-Marcus toy department in NorthPark, each with colorful illustrations for the kiddies. If your small one is still too young to read, give him an imported goose to keep him company. NM sells animal pull-toys by Kouvolias of Greece, $13.50 for the polished wooden bird and egg. If you still insist on the real thing. Fain Nix sells white Emden and Chinese geese at $25-$40 a shot. Apparently they make excellent watch birds and keep a sharp eye out for midnight skunks or possum.

Six Geese-a-laying.

The Christmas turkey may have gobble-gobbled for the last time. Among the imported sweets, homemade breads and German sausages at Kuby’s Delicatessen in Snider Plaza is a selection of plump and juicy geese that would have made Aunt Rhody proud. Figure at least $20 for a nice 10-12 pounder, or take a gander at the other game birds available like Rock Cornish Hen, quail or duckling. For fancier tastes there’s even a prepared Chicken Kiev.

Since these geese are supposed to be a-laying, we’re obviously dealing with motherhood. The Mother Goose is amply remembered in no fewer than five editions of her much-loved folklore at the Neiman-Marcus toy department in NorthPark, each with colorful illustrations for the kiddies. If your small one is still too young to read, give him an imported goose to keep him company. NM sells animal pull-toys by Kouvolias of Greece, $13.50 for the polished wooden bird and egg. If you still insist on the real thing. Fain Nix sells white Emden and Chinese geese at $25-$40 a shot. Apparently they make excellent watch birds and keep a sharp eye out for midnight skunks or possum.

Seven Swans-a-swimming.

The Marsalis Zoo is the romantic setting for one of these big white beauties to swim into your life. Bird-keepers sell off excess ugly ducklings to maintain an even population. The white mute, whistling and trumpeter swans go for around $250, for a cob and pen. The black Australian variety fetch $300 a pair. These birds usually go to farms with lakes or small private ponds in North Dallas. If you just want to look, the Flamingo exhibit near the entrance sports a number of rare black-neck swans – a beautiful but nasty-tempered bird.

Of course, even those who have no more room in their ponds may still have a taste for French desserts. Michel Peynier, of La Francaise bakery in White Rock Shopping Center, describes his swan pastries with much gesticulated enthusiasm. Indeed, that’s the only way he could describe them – at least to us – since Michel speaks little English and we speak no French. The finished product looks something like a cream puff with wings. Filled with whipped cream and topped with a curved neck and head. Called Cygnes in the native tongue, these after-dinner treats cost about 50¢ apiece.

Seven Swans-a-swimming.

The Marsalis Zoo is the romantic setting for one of these big white beauties to swim into your life. Bird-keepers sell off excess ugly ducklings to maintain an even population. The white mute, whistling and trumpeter swans go for around $250, for a cob and pen. The black Australian variety fetch $300 a pair. These birds usually go to farms with lakes or small private ponds in North Dallas. If you just want to look, the Flamingo exhibit near the entrance sports a number of rare black-neck swans – a beautiful but nasty-tempered bird.

Of course, even those who have no more room in their ponds may still have a taste for French desserts. Michel Peynier, of La Francaise bakery in White Rock Shopping Center, describes his swan pastries with much gesticulated enthusiasm. Indeed, that’s the only way he could describe them – at least to us – since Michel speaks little English and we speak no French. The finished product looks something like a cream puff with wings. Filled with whipped cream and topped with a curved neck and head. Called Cygnes in the native tongue, these after-dinner treats cost about 50¢ apiece.

Eight Maids-a-milking.

This one wins our grand award for self-indulgence. Paul Osborne & Associates has worked up a dairy extravaganza for us, complete with costumes, props and sets: Eight maid costumes will cost about $325 each, while two-person cow suits could run up to $1800 per bovine. Figure $50 for each painted stool, $25 for every pail, $40 an hour for the maids and $30 an hour for each of the 16 cow people, front and rear. Top the whole thing off with a $6000-$7000 three-dimensional barn display, including hay. Assemble everything for an hour’s worth of milking and you can round the tab off at $25,000, tax not included. For the economy-minded Peggy Taylor Talent offers a budget show for about $4000. (Peggy saves money with real cows and a rented barn and concentrates on wholesome-looking maids.)

If all that excitement is a bit too much, Old World in the Quadrangle can provide a more subdued and less expensive way to finish out the verse. Haviland of Limoges, France features “Eight Maids-a-milking” by Remy Hetrean, a limited edition painted plate that is number eight in a series of twelve.

Eight Maids-a-milking.

This one wins our grand award for self-indulgence. Paul Osborne & Associates has worked up a dairy extravaganza for us, complete with costumes, props and sets: Eight maid costumes will cost about $325 each, while two-person cow suits could run up to $1800 per bovine. Figure $50 for each painted stool, $25 for every pail, $40 an hour for the maids and $30 an hour for each of the 16 cow people, front and rear. Top the whole thing off with a $6000-$7000 three-dimensional barn display, including hay. Assemble everything for an hour’s worth of milking and you can round the tab off at $25,000, tax not included. For the economy-minded Peggy Taylor Talent offers a budget show for about $4000. (Peggy saves money with real cows and a rented barn and concentrates on wholesome-looking maids.)

If all that excitement is a bit too much, Old World in the Quadrangle can provide a more subdued and less expensive way to finish out the verse. Haviland of Limoges, France features “Eight Maids-a-milking” by Remy Hetrean, a limited edition painted plate that is number eight in a series of twelve.

Nine Ladies Dancing.

Imagine nine lovely ladies twirling about your table to the Gypsy strains of a Russian balalaika, stamping and clicking through a Spanish malaguena, swishing their ruffled skirts in a French can-can and concluding with a beautifully choreographed selection from Tchaikovsky. Madame Nathalie Krassovska instructs her girls in the many terpsichorean delights, from classical ballet to Slavic folk dancing. The company presently performs twice weekly at Baron de Rothschild’s, but $40 apiece will have the group pirouetting its way through a private command performance.

Ballerinas on the ceiling? Artist Ken Miller of Graphantasy (526-1528) specializes in wall-sized murals on just about any surface, and has recently completed commissions for a night club and children’s theater. Ken will study your house, design a master plan, and adorn your walls with colorful, life-sized dancers a la Toulouse-Lautrec for around $2000.

Nine Ladies Dancing.

Imagine nine lovely ladies twirling about your table to the Gypsy strains of a Russian balalaika, stamping and clicking through a Spanish malaguena, swishing their ruffled skirts in a French can-can and concluding with a beautifully choreographed selection from Tchaikovsky. Madame Nathalie Krassovska instructs her girls in the many terpsichorean delights, from classical ballet to Slavic folk dancing. The company presently performs twice weekly at Baron de Rothschild’s, but $40 apiece will have the group pirouetting its way through a private command performance.

Ballerinas on the ceiling? Artist Ken Miller of Graphantasy (526-1528) specializes in wall-sized murals on just about any surface, and has recently completed commissions for a night club and children’s theater. Ken will study your house, design a master plan, and adorn your walls with colorful, life-sized dancers a la Toulouse-Lautrec for around $2000.

Ten Lords-a-leaping.

This is a bad year for lords – most of them are holed up in Europe. But America maintains its own nobility: the Harlem Globetrotters, unquestioned kings of the court. Treat your truelove to these lords-a-leaping as they trounce the team of your choice. Globetrotters general offices (in Los Angeles, mind you) would not give the exact cost of flying the baronets of basketball in for a private game, but they hinted at six digits.

If ball is not your basket, how about treatment worthy of a king with your own servants leaping to please? Spreading here from California, Renta-Yenta is an organization that will engineer any conceivable event, from a private parade to lunch in the window of Woolf Brothers. Mike Morris of the Dallas office (361-7005) suggests a classical string quartet, two professional waiters, a wine steward and three ballet dancers for a peerless evening of entertainment, complete with a beef Wellington dinner that would have impressed the Duke himself. All delivered to your castle for a king’s ransom – $1750.

Ten Lords-a-leaping.

This is a bad year for lords – most of them are holed up in Europe. But America maintains its own nobility: the Harlem Globetrotters, unquestioned kings of the court. Treat your truelove to these lords-a-leaping as they trounce the team of your choice. Globetrotters general offices (in Los Angeles, mind you) would not give the exact cost of flying the baronets of basketball in for a private game, but they hinted at six digits.

If ball is not your basket, how about treatment worthy of a king with your own servants leaping to please? Spreading here from California, Renta-Yenta is an organization that will engineer any conceivable event, from a private parade to lunch in the window of Woolf Brothers. Mike Morris of the Dallas office (361-7005) suggests a classical string quartet, two professional waiters, a wine steward and three ballet dancers for a peerless evening of entertainment, complete with a beef Wellington dinner that would have impressed the Duke himself. All delivered to your castle for a king’s ransom – $1750.

Eleven Pipers Piping.

Spend a Scottish Christmas with the Highland Park High School band. Twenty girls, decked out in the full traditional regalia of kilt, sporran and doublet, comprise the school’s bagpipe corps. The costumes are imported from the old country and display the Royal Stuart tartan on skirts, hats, shawls and socks. The only error in authenticity is that in Scotland, piping is strictly for men. (But who’s complaining?) The pipers perform with the band or backed up by drums at events ranging from football games to Disneyworld parades.

Bagpipes tend to be a bit loud, so for a quieter evening of musical entertainment, gather up your friends and pass out the recorders. Brook Mays Music Company on Mockingbird sells the wooden flutes in five sizes, from the rare bass model for several hundred dollars, to a plastic sopranino for $2.75. Procure a selection of Gregorian chants and pipe the night away.

Eleven Pipers Piping.

Spend a Scottish Christmas with the Highland Park High School band. Twenty girls, decked out in the full traditional regalia of kilt, sporran and doublet, comprise the school’s bagpipe corps. The costumes are imported from the old country and display the Royal Stuart tartan on skirts, hats, shawls and socks. The only error in authenticity is that in Scotland, piping is strictly for men. (But who’s complaining?) The pipers perform with the band or backed up by drums at events ranging from football games to Disneyworld parades.

Bagpipes tend to be a bit loud, so for a quieter evening of musical entertainment, gather up your friends and pass out the recorders. Brook Mays Music Company on Mockingbird sells the wooden flutes in five sizes, from the rare bass model for several hundred dollars, to a plastic sopranino for $2.75. Procure a selection of Gregorian chants and pipe the night away.

Twelve Drummers Drumming.

The Bryan Adams ROTC is a disciplined group of students that includes not only drummers drumming but cymblers cymbling and buglers bugling as well. The recently formed drum and bugle corps consists of 13 percussionists and 13 horns, all looking forward to a February federal inspection, when they’ll do their thing for Uncle Sam. Next time you’re holding a parade, give the school a call to see about borrowing a few rat-a-tat-tatters, caissons and all.

Perhaps a bit lighter and more amusing is the collection of mechanical animals from Carl Original of Germany, at Designs for Growing in Preston Village. The wind-up drumming monkey is a natural, but don’t overlook the walking elephant, juggling clown and drinking bear. Halfway between a toy and the real thing is a military miniature from Militaria in the Quadrangle. Carefully molded in lead, the 21/2-inch #290 is a Drummer Coldstream from a regiment of British foot guards, I70I-I7I2. The soldier himself is only $5.50. but paints and brushes to do him up right will run another $10.

Twelve Drummers Drumming.

The Bryan Adams ROTC is a disciplined group of students that includes not only drummers drumming but cymblers cymbling and buglers bugling as well. The recently formed drum and bugle corps consists of 13 percussionists and 13 horns, all looking forward to a February federal inspection, when they’ll do their thing for Uncle Sam. Next time you’re holding a parade, give the school a call to see about borrowing a few rat-a-tat-tatters, caissons and all.

Perhaps a bit lighter and more amusing is the collection of mechanical animals from Carl Original of Germany, at Designs for Growing in Preston Village. The wind-up drumming monkey is a natural, but don’t overlook the walking elephant, juggling clown and drinking bear. Halfway between a toy and the real thing is a military miniature from Militaria in the Quadrangle. Carefully molded in lead, the 21/2-inch #290 is a Drummer Coldstream from a regiment of British foot guards, I70I-I7I2. The soldier himself is only $5.50. but paints and brushes to do him up right will run another $10.

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