Bravo

Home Tours

Witness The Real Housewives of Dallas Homes

Bravo recently took a tour of each, MTV’s Cribs-style. We have thoughts.

Well, here we are again. Another year, another peek inside the homes of the housewives they call Real. And much like the production of season 2 has been far superior to the first, the Bravo blog crew really stepped up their home tour game.

Last year, we got a few bleak photo galleries, each distinguished solely by the name of the housewife that lived there, but this year we’ve got videos, you guys. Are those videos about as high-quality as Lil Wayne’s episode of Cribs which aired in 2002? Yep! But if it’s good enough for Weezy, it’s good enough for RHOD.

Let’s take a look.

 

“Kameron Westcott’s Enormous Home”

The “real-life Elle Woods” — though for me, Westcott’s mannerisms and inflections more closely align with Laura Bell Bundy’s original Broadway version of the character — takes us through the fun floor, the formal floor, and the family floor of her Highland Park home. There are dog closets, wine closets filled with furs, a Swarovski-filled princess room, a car-themed room for a son named Cruise, and “the most amazing theater on the planet.”

 

“D’Andra Simmons’ Worldly Home”

Is there a zebra skin rug draped over the stairwell banister of an African safari-themed room? Yes. Are there lots of framed photos taken by Simmons’ very studly husband? You know it, and I’d like to see more of them and that husband. Will this convince me to go even more all in on Simmons? Listen, I’m ride or die with D’Andra and (most importantly) Dee until the end (of the season).

 

 

“Stephanie Hollman’s Big Ol’ Mansion”

The winner of last year’s “Best Closet,” Hollman brings us to Las Colinas, where you’ll find a brand new Birkin bag from Paris, “magic shoes,” and a boat-themed room for yet another son named Cruz. (Have Cruise and Cruz met? They could debate over land and sea travel  for hours.)

 

“Brandi Redmond’s Dallas Home”

With both a dog and a very ornate wine glass in one arm for the entirety of the video (mad props!), Redmond takes us through her Plano home, where there’s a wild amount of mirrored furniture and nailhead seating, along with a breakfast nook where no one eats breakfast.

 

“Cary Deuber’s Home and Closet

Bravo gives Deuber’s wardrobe the same billing as her home, and what the closet lacks in size it adequately makes up for in designer brands, which were almost certainly all chosen by amiable househusband Mark. There are also a few really intense-looking puzzles, and some great hair on the Deubs.

 

Inexplicably, there is no home tour from LeeAnne Locken.

Comments

  • shawna

    Why no LeeAnne Locken tour? She must rent?

    • She lives with her boyfriend, Rich, who is a cop. Cops get to keep their names off some property records, so you have to know what you’re looking for in DCAD to find the house. Perhaps they’re just trying to keep their pad to themselves.